Saturday, 21 July 2018

Why I dropped #2 - Monster manga

Monster by Naoki Urasawa

Monster starts out alright by introducing the main character, young genius brain surgeon Tenma, who lives and works in Germany. He lives his life until he decides to disobey an order of his superior and saves a random young boy's life instead of keeping the mayor of the town or whatever the hospital is in alive, resulting in obvious trouble for his superior.


I call bullshit.

A children's life is not worth more than that of an adult, but actually LESS. First, while an adult has numerous social connections, a circle of friends, a partner perhaps, a child is only really loved by his parents and grandparents (if at all). Children's so called friendships are flimsy as fuck, so they clearly don't count. Teachers generally hate children - and that is pretty much the entire periphery of a child as children aren't allowed to interact with any other grown-ups in this day and age because those could be creepy pedophiles (so let's treat all adults as such because of a small minority. Logic yay)!

Second, adults generally have a job and hence contribute to society in some way or another (unless they are coppers or politicians or some such wastrels) - while children are in school and thereforae are a COST to society until they become old enough to work.

Third and unnecessary to even mention, the world is cruelly overpopulated. At a certain point in time, an adult might already have had the audacity to spawn his seed into the world in a purely selfish way, while a child decides on whether or not to breed only later in life. In other words, the mayor in the example above pretty likely already had sired children if he had the wish to do so, essentially preventing any ADDITIONAL burden to mankind. Saving the life of the boy means he might put additional burden on mankind later.

So for any logically thinking person, saving the mayor's life as per the order of your superior would have been the morally right and sensible choice. However as the mangaka feels he has to degrade himself in order to appeal to the sickening sappiness that blots out reason in the deranged minds of the general public, Tenma is of course an IDIOT and saves the child, called Johan. As some sort of cosmic comeuppance or divine justice, that mistake turns out to quickly ruin his life, costing him his girlfriend and promotion. However, Tenma's enemies are ruthlessly killed, causing an excentric police investigator (who has a really stupid gimmick) to try and pin the blame on Tenma somehow.

Now this is where I initally stopped reading a long time ago (6-10 years) because I had seen Death Note right before and I really couldn't take another criminal vs policeman logic battle story then. However, Monster isn't actually about any of that but about Tenma and Johan's twin sister (who initially seemed an ok character, but it turns out she was the one to shoot Johan in the head and from then on everything goes downhill) chasing after Johan who is actually a split-personality serial killing motherfucker responsible for many many murders (for example Tenma's bosses and many of his and his twin sisters' foster parents even - who ironically adores Tenma for saving his life when he was a boy!

That storyline is bearable for some time, but at some point the author randomly decides to throw the laziest and most uncreative villains possible into the story - Nazis (*sigh*) - and the bullshit spirals out of control. So the Nazis plan to burn down Little Turkey in some German town - of course the author handles all of this in the most stereotypic black-and-white way (evil Nazis, good Turkish immigrants - he even invokes the dreaded "hooker with a heart of gold" trope) and never asks himself what right hordes of Turks unwilling to integrate have to occupy a foreign country in the first place. Clearly Urasawa couldn't have pulled that stunt in a story set in his native country (the Japanese themselves would never allow great numbers of foreigners to settle in their country). By the way, Hitler himself declared the Japanese (his allies in the war) "honorary Aryans", so the Nazis beating up Tenma wasn't really the smartest thing to put in the manga (well maybe they just didn't know that tiny tidbit, huh). I'm certainly not claiming the Nazis were any kind of good guys but to just put them into a story as a generic villain whose motivations aren't even explored the slightest bit is just the textbook definition of laziness. And to not look up the situation of Turks and their unwillingness to drop their primitive and harmful beliefs primarily motivated by their cancer of a religion - Islam - is doubly insulting. But of course that bullshit sells stories and wins awards cause it doesn't require any kind of thought on the part of the left-leaning reviewer or manga reader - right?!

So of course the FIRE storyline turns out to be utterly useless - nobody dies, at least some of the Nazis are arrested (they weren't important to the story in the first place... yay), the Turks are left free to further spread the boundaries of their parallel society in a Western country, Johan murders some guys - the "good guys" neither win or lose even the slightest thing (and the morally ambiguous smuggler sidekick Tenma picked up even has to lose the expensive carpet he stole so that "evil isn't rewarded" *facepalm* - And guess how he loses it: a 100000 DM carpet is used to extinguish a fire in lieu of e.g. Tenma's shirt *double facepalm*). At this point, I gave up on this asinine timewaster and looked up the further development of the plot on Wikipedia. That was around chapter 40 of 100.

Turns out that the rest of the story is just a REPEAT of events happening earlier! Johan kills people, the "heroes" chase after him, and in the end Johan's sister shoots him in the head AGAIN and Tenma, complete fucktard that he is, operates on Johan AGAIN and saves his life AGAIN, only to allow the murderer to escape from the hospital AGAIN (allowing him to probably kill even more people in the future).


So this manga really was little more than realising you have gum stuck in your hair, a storyline that turned useless as soon as a boy decided that his life's work was to kill a lot of mostly random people for no reason and COULD actually execute that, a setting that is first established just to be discarded chapters later and a total bullshit nonsense ending.

On the plus side, the German names mostly were well chosen, having a brain surgeon main character was actually quite interesting, the drawing was also quite well done. And on a side note to the author, women in Germany do NOT all wear skirts at all times (because skirts are stupid). From reading the mangaka's Wikipedia article, it doesn't look like he has ever lived in Germany for longer periods of time.

Avoid unless you really like your main characters behaving in the most illogical ways, going out of their way (!) to keep the FUCKING POLICE from solving the murders and catching Johan (I mean it kinda is their job, you know! They aren't ALL about waylaying drivers) and your villains as - well fuck it, those two points are enough to make a super sane man cringe and review a truly shitty manga.

Sunday, 27 May 2018

Interactive fiction review #14 - George

George by Cody Sandifer

A hoax demo

George is an extremely short game set in a zoo. Apparently it was part of a hoax, which explains its duration and abrubt, unfinished end.

The plot involves two friends (or lovers), who appear to be drugged up and ready to embark on a dangerous mission (which is a combination always good for netting one a Darwin award). The game text breaks the fourth wall in one or two places, referring to the non-existent full version.

If this was but the beginning of an author's debut game, George would be a promising venture, but in its existing form this game is not worth the time it takes to download it.


Sunday, 24 December 2017

Interactive fiction review #13 - Tears of a tough man

Tears of a Tough Man by Brian Humphrey

A debut title - and it shows

Tears of a Tough Man by Bruce Humphrey is a short mystery murder memento game in which you are meant to restore your main characters's memory by wandering around and triggering his recollection by doing various things. What might sound interesting is held back dramatically by writer's inexperience and ineptitude.

In a forum post, the author stated that he planned to implement multiple features missing from the final version but couldn't (for some reason) - it shows. (e.g. multiple endings) Grammar and spelling errors, whilst not overabundant, distract. Some of the puzzles are made unneededly tedious by poor syntax and logic. The in-game environment feels unnaturally constructed to the point of being ridiculous. Likewise, quest-important items just happen to be lying around in your path. The ending (if you'd like to try this out, the point you're likely to miss is "x stains") does not really reveal or conclude anything.

To sum things up, Tears of a Tough Man is an author's debut work that does show some promise but in its ineptness cannot be salvaged even by mending and polishing.


Sunday, 22 October 2017

Retroachievements update #5 - Retroachievements? Go to hell!

Scott is somebody I really hate. FUCK him.

After years of using (and advertising) I have tonight finally been convinced to rid myself of a project that is no longer in a useful state and shows zero promise for future improvements (same as Path of Exile, by the way, which I'm pretty sure I'll never play again due to the utter futility of playing it).

The terminal problem of The utter lack of leadership.

In any closed system, be it a game of chess or the laws of a country, rules and logic have to be intrinsical. If people don't play by the rules, there can be no meaningful competition.

Case in point: idiots adding achievements to already completed sets for no rhyme or reason, therefore deducting points from people who have already beaten achievements in that set. What's infinitely worse, however, is the REMOVAL of achievements that players have already cleared, again, for no rhyme or reason! I've spoken out against these things time and time again, to no avail. The final straw was the removal of many Super Tennis achievements, which I had spent weeks on clearing. I noticed that just tonight and it didn't take me a long time to make the decision that retroachievemens cannot be any longer in a state that allows for a meaningful competition. Hence, it's a total and utter waste of anybody participating there for a rank on the leaderboard.

Scott, the useless asshole who created the site (quite the example of a blind hen finding a grain of corn), didn't manage in 5 years to establish any system that prevents anarchy (not to mention answer PMs. And when he allowed donations after years of people begging to be able to donate, he did it on fucking Patreon. *facepalm*) In a closed system, you obviously can't have anarchy, cause see above. The paragon of incompetence, after he disappeared for literally years, did nothing to fix the state of anarchy. What he actually did was to break all emulators (I didn't even bother to re-download most of them, cause setting them up again was an infinite pain I literally lost hours of my life on).

Losing retroachievements is a shame. The original idea was a spot of genius, and I've had many enjoyable hours of playing games for achievements and chatting with people on the site. Could I have made #1 eventually? Probably not, because I've never in my life managed to dedicate my efforts to one single thing. It's still a sad moment for me. But I'll make sure to erase my memory of using that site just like the achievements I (and in some cases, ONLY I!!!) completed were erased.

Sunday, 10 September 2017

My parody comic strip: Charlie Down - (A Peanuts parody)

Yet another idea I carried around with me for years spontaneously comes to fruition...!

Now hosted on via the Comic Fury platform (and updated only there cause I'm too lazy to upload everything twice...)

I've come up with the idea of drawing a Charlie Brown parody strip ever since I checked out the first couple of strips (and yes, I mean the 1950s ones...) in a drunk stupor and was appalled at how horribly unfunny those were. Granted, I recently discovered Family Circus (which had been mentioned in my all-time favourite webcomic, 8-Bit Theater, to be exact, but I never bothered to look it up) and had to re-gauge my scale of unfunniness in a painful way - but those old Peanuts strips still are completely unfunny and utterly baffling more regularly than even bloody Garfield! And I doubt the newer ones are any different, by the way...

Anyway, so I somehow came across the parody series Dysfunctional Family Circus (which even has a Wikipedia article!) which was started back in 1989 recently, and today (!) I put one and one together and realised that I didn't have to DRAW a parody (Note: I can't draw for shit...) but could just use the original and use Photoshop on its ass! Granted, I have to use Photoshop CS2 (release date: 1991...) because that is the only free one and Fuckdobe doesn't actually sell its software anymore but only rents it out - it's a pain, but it's once again making it possible for even me to draw a comic (just like I used to do 9 years ago when it took me half a year to learn how to properly imitate Order of the Stick's (which by the way sucks now beyond belief) style because I am spatially retarded).

No clue how I'm gonna manage the rest of 'em (a blog post per comic seems stupid) but here is Charlie Down strip #1... and obviously, the level of funniness may vary with what I'm given to work with. By the way and for the record, this is the only thing I've ever been creating (so far: webcomic, music, drawing, interactive fiction, writing) that has nothing to do with my own story project which is called The She-Wolf and the Goddess ((c)2007 me). Though certain concepts invariably creep in...

Click it to see it in the proper size (sorry):

Seems like this margin ain't wide enough to display the comic in original size... pfff...
Dinosaur Comics also was a huge inspiration for me, as was of -Garfield.
PS: Apparently ol' Charlie Schulz didn't own a ruler back in the day, because this strip's borders were actually crooked!

PPS: Thanks to whoever bothered to create a Charlie Brown font - without you this would not be the same. Which it isn't, because it is a non-profit parody. So don't bother suing - though actually being sued by the estate of C. Schulz would definitely be the highlight of my life. ^^ (what a sucky life :-()

PPPS: At least sometimes a direct comparison between the original strip and the parody will be required or at least recommended. After all, mocking Schulz' thoroughly unfunny and sometimes utterly unintelligible (strips #1 and #2 for example) attempt at humour is the basic idea here.

Originally the first 3 panels weren't a dream sequence, but I decided to keep the characters more down to Earth. I was also toying with the idea of Charlie becoming "retarded" because of the punch in panel 3.
By the way, doing these is a lot more work than you would imagine...
Of course, going strip by strip I am still very limited to what I have to work with.
This third one pretty much displays the direction I want to take these strips into.
A long time ago, I once drew 13 hours straight for my TSWATG III comic... I gave up soon after that one.
I really gotta look into finding some comic site where I can host these...
I couldn't spontaneously come up with a more absurdist solution to this abysmal material either. By the way, Snoopy's line is taken from YGOTAS, of course. That series was epic for the entirety of its two seasons.
The OBVIOUS joke. I'm not proud of this one... :-(

Once again, this took a really long time to make. I come up with ideas as I create, and afterthoughts are aplenty. I foolishly forgot how thick the custom speech bubbled had to be stroked, which cost me at least another 30 min and didn't even yield a good result (the original bubbles weren't as crooked).
This one went through a lot of rewrites...

Making them actually hold hands meant a lot to me. It's such a simple but also so immensely powerful thing that mainstream media these days spare out completely (or when have you seen Captain Assmerica hold Generic Love Interest's hand last time?!). Holding hands puts you in a situation of total equality, unlike sex (most of the time).
Oh baby! The setting is basically established now! (Kiddin'.) And Patty looks so happy in the last panel...
Apparently Schulz and Keane were two of a kind in terms of stupidity. I still find Peanuts to be a lot less offensive to my rational brain. Family Circus indeed is the worst shit I have ever come across.
First real in-joke for actual Peanuts fans... the horror...  (of there being actual Peanuts fans out there!)
Plus, that original punchline didn't make any sense with the jump rope, just with the counting in millions...
Phew! So tough to come up with a punchline...

Friday, 8 September 2017

First Impressions #2 - Bioshock Remastered

First Impressions - Bioshock Remastered by 2K Games

(based on my one hour torture session with this shlock)

Also the last impression...

Bioshock. Huh. It sucked hard! So much for that franchise. Good thing I got out quickly (unlike the addiction issue I have with Path of Exile... sigh).


Underwater world that looks a LOT like the underwater level in Deus Ex (the "Bathysphere" ride in the beginning felt just like the submarine ride in DX1). A huge Fallout 3 feel too to it, though apparently Bioshlock came out a year earlier, so who knows why that is. I swear the men's room sign looks just like the pip boy! The posters and stuff everywhere all scream Fallout too, as do the enemy life bars, and the attept at irony apparent in the decorations (which works a LOT better in Fallout)...

The underwater kingdom - Rapture - is populated by fucking zombies (I facepalmed hard on seeing the first one... I hate zombies.), ugly-as-fuck robots and really ugly little zombie girls with glowing eyes. It's obvious from the start that you won't meet especially many humans there, and all of the aforementioned creatures don't have a shred of personality. You are constantly terrorised by an incorporeal voice which rambles on and on about going there and killing that, yet the game starts without even telling you WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE and therefore not giving you the slightest reason to care about any of it. Honestly, even fucking Half-Shite 2 (second most overrated game of all time) made more of an effort of making me care about moving through the levels, and that's saying something - at least in that game you are directly addressed as "Gordon Freeman" and are not just some blank fucking nobody. 2K Games fucked up the basic rule of storytelling (make the player care) harder than I could even have imagined! Groundbreaking!


There is none. But yeah, there was something... apparently the mystery voice wants you to kill some other mystery guy - but who the fuck cares about that when there's nothing at stake for the player character or the slightest reason for him to care about any of the other characters in the setting (let's recap: zombies, robots, girl zombies, mystery voice, mystery villain)!!! What a piss-poor attempt at a storyline! Just throw him in (literally)! Holy hell.


SCRIPTED EVENTS NO JUTSU! Enemies always spawn in your vicinity (it's pretty obvious they didn't just MOVE there but were put there by the game), except when they spawn behind barriers and it's obvious instantly you won't be able to interfere with them. In one instance, the game wanted to create tension by spawning enemies clawing at a a glass wall in order to break through. To escape, the protagonist had to move into an elevator portal-style. However, I moved back out of the elevator to watch the futile scripted event and laugh about it.

Then the game... warped me to the next location (ten seconds later) like I had remained in the elevator!!! (I got that on video, btw.)

One episode like that really is enough to make me doubt the game design. Add to that that you can't jump over miniscule walls in the beginning because you would take damage... and you haven't received your lifebar at that point! Bioshock's linear-as-fuck level design makes Half-Life 2's look like Duke Nukem 3D, and again, that's saying something! In the beginning there is even a quest arrow to assure even the dumbest idiots (in other words, this game's fanbase that paid for a second part...) won't lose their way.

When you open the map, the interface screams CONSOLE PORT. Combat is clunky, but would be decent I guess. At the beginning of the game you are given magic powers for no reason, maybe eventually you get stuff like levitation that would be needed to make you progress, but the lightning ray you get in the beginning was boring and ineffective.

Fallout 3 has the same complete lack of a storyline, but at least has RPG elements and the tutorial set in the bunker to give you some kind of identification with your character. Oh yeah, and an open world instead of a train ride. On rails.


are decent, but as I probably said before, graphics are only even a factor negatively influencing a game's rating, never positively. I grew up with DOS, so I know that it's gameplay and also controls which are the most important factors in video game making. Times have changed, unfortunately...


Playing Bioshock was a terrifying experience and quite probably it was the game I had the least fun with in a long, long time. To think this game got a 99 at Metacritic would be enough to make me question the collective sanity of mankind - if I didn't already KNOW before that man's decline is already going full throttle.

I died at the one-hour-mark, and I had no intention to continue as there wasn't even the slightest thing of interest to me. I play very few shooters nowadays, and the main reason for that is that most of them appear to be just as bland as this pathetic attempt at an atmospheric game (or Call of Duty clones or sequels). When you have played the best shooter of all time (DX1) and know that you have played the best shooter of all time, it is very, very hard to settle for anything lesser. Avoid like the plague, unless you are just as devoid of any individuality or personality as this vapid shell of a game.

Sunday, 2 July 2017

Anime review #7 - Speed Grapher

Speed Grapher by Minoru Niki (2005)

Cat and mouse game with a cardboard face MacGuffin flying around on the screen

I have to admit it took me some time to figure out what the title of this anime was about, but it hardly matters. "Grapher" can only refer to "photographer", but speed is not a big factor in this anime per se. Patience is, though, as is the ability to withstand crappy writing. Speed Grapher was interesting for 2-3 episodes - but so was Naruto. Eventually, it turned into one of the most horrible pieces of SHLOCK I have ever been terrorised with in my life.

"I feel like a button..."
"I am indifferent about everything."

Speed Grapher depicts a world (or rather Japan) where money is everything and everything can be in turn bought by money. So basically, it's like the real world but a lot more honest! Corruption runs amok among politicians and in the course of events this factor actually leads to the loss of souvereignty as international troops invade Japan! All of this could have made for a very interesting setting, but alas! it was wasted on a banal plot involving supernatural powers for no reason (*facepalm*) and unsatanly abysmal (but not abyssal) characters.

A few nice points here and there show how SEXY financial power and money itself as an object can be, but those pale into insignificance alongside the "meat" of this show, the storyline, which is as bland as unseasoned chicken. Try to eat 24 episodes' worth of that! I dare you!


Tatsumi Saiga, an established war photographer, investigates a secret de Sadian club which on first glance seems rather similar to the one depicted in Juliette (just with a lot less gay sex). However, the secret "VIP" membership buys high ranking politicians and businessmen something more than sex: their DNA is altered upon receiving bodily fluids from the "goddess" owned by the club, 15-year-old Kagura, who unwillingly participates in the process drugged and unaware. These customers are hence turned into useless monsters-of-the-week, most of them with spider powers for some reason. The same thing accidentally happens to Saiga, who upon being kissed by Kagura receives the power to make things explode by photographing them. Such a power would usually be OP, but of course, since Saiga is the "hero" protagonist, it has to be immediately overshadowed by the big bad's power of using his blood to achieve pretty much anything he wants - with deadly results.

So Saiga decides to rescue Kagura, who turns out to be the blandest cardboard face ever to float across a screen (even Hinata in Naruto has more of a personality! Wow, I can't believe I just typed that...), but not to FUCK her (cause she is "only" 15 which you would never even know from just watching the anime, where this tidbit is mentioned maybe once, and not 16 which magically would be (more?) legal then...) but just to keep her around for no discernible reason. Saiga has nothing but trouble because of this, as Kagura is kidnapped more often than Mokuba in Yugioh the Abridged Series (basically once every 3 episodes...) and he has to re-rescue her each and every time, which causes so much unnecessary stress in his life he eventually goes BLIND from it. Holy shit! Well, I for one'd be rather dead than blind. (I'd be rather dead than anything, but that is beside the point. Actually, I'd rather be a billionaire than dead because then I could make my movie.) To top it off, the abovementioned monsters-of-the-week are despatched against the couple at regular intervals - but as this is essentially a SHONEN anime (even though it features adult themes), the monsters are defeated without even breaking a sweat or a leg. What a twits! By the way, Saiga never has a lightbulb moment of coming up with the concept of a DISGUISE or just simply cutting Kagura's hair which is odd enough to make her instantly recognisable.

To spice up things, we are given a horny freak female police officer who consistently stalks Saiga, thinks nothing of raping him while he is unconsicous and is an overall bane on an already very poor anime, like a bee circling you while you are standing in a packed crowd of five thousand screaming pre-teens having to endure a Justin Bieber concert because your mother sent you there to watch over your little sister who thinks Bieber is a great musician and the cutest boy ever. And then your little sister got raped and you got stung by that bee. In the COCK. Yeah, that's really what Ginza reminded me of.

Anyway, eventually Kagura gets kidnapped for the final and last time, Saiga has to face off with Suitengu (that is the name of the villain and mastermind), Saiga goes blind and Suitengu kills himself, causing a massive economical crisis by essentially lighting a lot of paper money on flames (killing thousands of people, which is conveniently ignored in the anime - but by the fact a large part of Tokyo is LIT ON FIRE, it's a certainty!) A few years later, Saiga is still blind as a mole, has still not fucked Kagura, which would have been her only purpose (I wouldn't usually say something like that, but she really is nothing more than a blowup doll that moves and talks just a little more!), and that's pretty much it!

And the fact I could not find Speed Grapher hentai on Google speaks for itself! Such a thing had never happened before!
And not the good kind either...

Saiga is a no-nonsense badass, which, coupled with the horrendously plain female sidekick, makes for an unappealingly dull situation. His relationship with Ginza which borders on sadomasochism would be interesting if it wasn't so downplayed. He has no reason to live for other than taking pictures, so when that is taken away from him (by Kagura), he instead adopts the concept of protecting Kagura from vague danger instead of turning her front side into a zipper with a big knife and drawing out the organs to devour them (with a side of fava beans) to (possibly) be cured of his affliction which would have been the logical course of action. Even when things go bad for him (danger of going blind from using supernatural abilities to fight monsters, losing his job and livelihood, getting stalked by mobsters and his crazy girlfriend), he never actually makes any attempt to CHANGE his lifestyle or anything. Suitengu would have paid a king's ransom (or rather bounty) for Kagura, and Saiga never had the slightest reason to be particularly loyal to her, just the same way one wouldn't especially miss a dog eaten by a crocodile when he could just go and buy a dozen more dogs AND crocodiles and some slaves to pick cotton! In a world where money is supposedly everything, a one-dimensional character like Saiga just isn't particularly interesting to watch. An evil badass (think Light Yagami - or even Dark Yagami!) would have had a field day in this setting and would have provided for an interesting story by himself.

Kagura is the goddess of blandness. She grows up spoiled rich and subjugated by her crazy and cruel mother. Of course when that witch finally croaks, Kagura storms back to her and when her mother dies without ever having cared for her even a tiny bit, Kagura doesn't even realise that. She is naive and innocent, yet that trait is never used to endear her to the viewer for some reason! It is like the creators of Speed Grapher aimed to write the most unimaginatively boring character possible and succeeded. What a smashing success! Speaking of which, there is a scene where Kagura tries to smash a window to escape and is physically (and hilariously) REPELLED by an inanimate object! That is how low her charisma score is! And Kagura's brain tumor arc is turned into a mockery when it turns out she has to... menstruate to be cured. Bleed for your life! Menstruate that tumor! From your brain! Why does that plot line sound like something feminists these days would come up with... Anyway, Kagura is the textbook MacGuffin, everybody wants to have her so the plot is about just that. During watching the last few episodes of SG I was thinking that I prefer Hinata from Naruto to Kagura as a character... that should tell you exactly how bland she really is! (Not as bland as Lain though, but that should go without saying.) If Hitler had a dog, and that dog had rabies and AIDS and the bubonic plague, and it could only bark in Mexican - I would rather fuck that dog than say something positive about Kagura!

Maybe pasting in whatever random shit I can find on Google has worn out its welcome...
"Mein dog has ein nice Arschloch!"

Suitengu is the villain of the show, and originally that works just fine and dandy. However, he turns out to be ridiculously OP and capable of killing pretty much anybody he wants. Even worse, a bullshit twist at the end destroys his character by making him hate money, hate the system, hate Japan etc. because a long time ago a rich guy forced his kid sister into prostitution, had him raped too for good measure and made into a child soldier or whatever. In the culmination of this onslaught of tripe it turns out he saved Saiga in a foreign country while they were both buried under rubble by... playing a music box. What pathetic SHLOCK! So in the end, he doesn't kill Saiga which would actually have been merciful in that situation as Saiga had lost his eyesight permanently by then, and basically commits suicide, blowing up all the money IN JAPAN in the process, killing thousands in the process off-screen as mentioned above and bankrupts the entire country - which conveniently recovers in just a few years. SHLOCK!

There are also a few boring henchman like the guy with the dog nose who can magically turn into a wolf but is killed by the female cop in like five seconds (I didn't make that up!) Some additional henchmen could've run with the money, but instead go back INTO A BURNING SKYSCRAPER to buy Suitenguu like five seconds which is never necessary in the first place and of course turns out to be just another slice of patheticness on a shit sandwich (I think that is what the minimum-wage Burger King employees are talking about when they ask you whether you want cheese on your Crispy Chicken). And an overacting gay dancer or whatever. Who cares.


Absolute power corrupts a lot, and money is pure evil or something. And it is totally ok to be bland as fuck as long as you have a cute face.

Final verdict:

Speed Grapher was not good. In fact, it was very bad. The good thing about bad anime like this one is that they are very easy to review, unlike stuff such as Madoka and Higurashi. The bad thing is of course that they are a pain to get through after you realise you are watching something that cannot just be saved in the last episode by some miraculous crazy genius twist. Avoid.