You've Got a Stew Going! by Ryan Veeder
You don't have to be a hero
Some games put you in the role of a shining knight, rescuing princesses and kingdoms, defeating evil forces and powerful monsters. And in some games you're just a dirty, smelling rat. The latter is the case in You've got a Stew going by Ryan Veeder.
On your quest for ingredients to put in the namesake stew, you explore a small set of tunnels and openings to the surface. There are a few NPCs that can be interacted with, but conversation isn't too important or interesting. I was trying my best to woo Fran, the female rat, but to no avail. There are some funny custom responses, but also some meta-references I could have done without. Puzzles are solvable though I would have wished for a less mono-dimensional way of solving some of them (e.g. the one with the girl). Even after trying quite a few things I couldn't get the optional sixth point.
I like happy little games like this one, motivating the player by being humourous and giving him a concrete goal and solveable, logical puzzles.
In the case of You've got a Stew going, the game is very playable though on the short side and amongst aforementioned details lacking some more items to use, so I give it a pretty good
5/10
Tuesday 15 December 2015
Monday 2 November 2015
One Piece manga RANT - Chapter 1 (part 1)
More like none piece of mind - and by that I mean non cents (PUN well kinda)
Part 1 of what hopefully will be an ongoing series and the original idea I wanted to create this blog for in the first place (though with Naruto part 2 instead - well eventually I'll get to that as well). Picking apart the shonen shit that is supposed to be a pirate adventury kind of thing though it's obviously some superhuman freakshow brawling instead. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the bottom of the barrel... ONE PIECE! (I'd rather have wine than Luffy in it, too.)
By the way, I wrote this some couple years back, so it's my oldest content other than the interactive fiction reviews (maybe?) featured here (with some revisions though. I'm worse with revisions than the Game Dude. Hell maybe even worse than George Lucas!). Also, I doubt that much of the horrible dialogue is caused by the translation. This is just horrendously unreadable if you like (your) manga to be a serious art form.
One Piece
Chapter 1
You know you're reading shitty manga when the first panel already doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Once upon a time (or rather not too long ago, I guess), the famous pirate Gold Roger had "conquered every single treasure that existed". Do I even need to say why this does not compute? Yes, since that is exactly the point of my reviews...
-) every single treasure would mean all of the gold, silver, paintings, art objects etc. in the entire world - so how did he transport it? Where did he store it? Let alone how did Gold Roger gather it in the first place?
-) gathering up a full amount of something that does not have intrinsic value pretty much renders it worthless. What would he buy with his unlimited resources if he already has "all the shinies"?!
-) Nami finds treasure soon enough into the manga, so obviously the "entire treasure of the world" isn't even TRUE. Seriously, why start your manga with something THIS stupid...
So with GR's execution the world "enters" the pirate age... clearly nobody has noticed GR stealing everything that isn't nailed down before then. The death of the biggest pirate of all time STARTS the pirate age. Yeah, that totally makes sense. If you're stupid.
Damn, all these problems and we're still on the first page. And the next one doesn't really improve things. The art is quite pretty and detailed though, no complaints about that.
Enter our protagonist, the oddly named "Monkey" D. Luffy. Nobody ever calls him Monkey though, so who the hell cares. At this point we have our first sign of shonen stupidity. Luffy, whose mouth alone is apparently bigger than his torso, cuts his FACE with a dagger. Good thing you didn't slip there or the eye would have been gone as well. Anyway this act of pure idiocy apparently proves he's a badass or something and continued to be allowed to hang out with his pirate pals. All side characters, especially crew members are always drawn to be bizarre freaks, by the way. The fat fuck who is always seen eating cartoonish meat on the bone is clearly the biggest offender here.
Anyway, Shanks, the good-hearted pirate who apparently never robs, rapes and kills people, is Luffy's big idol. We learn that Luffy can't swim - keep that in mind. Luffy is "tricked" into drinking juice to prove he's still a kid - obviously true pirates never drink juice. It's not like there would be such a thing as scurvy after all, damn those vitamins! Generic Nami-lookalike #1 is shown to be feeding kid Luffy, who has the best teeth in the world, being able to rip bites off steaks (maybe he is too dumb to be able to use fork and knife?) though it still would be nice to get to know why he doesn't have a family. Maybe Shanks will turn out to be his father...? That kind of predictable bullshit sure enough happened in Naruto, so maybe here too.
The next plot point is the apparent rivalry between "bandits" and pirates, which makes no sense whatsoever. It's the PIRATE AGE and the bandit leader has never seen pirates, yeah right. The pirates had been using this village as a base "for almost a year", and all the One Piece world consists of small islands - and bandits don't have ships, or they would BE pirates themselves. Do the math how it makes NO sense for the bandits to never have met the pirates. Also the bandit leader goes around breaking doors, smashing bottles on peoples' heads, littering and saying things like "We're bandits", not expecting anyone to get pissed off and removing such a threat to your village from his or her village. (I've met assholes only slightly less fucked in the head than this guy in real life, by the way - in school. And by that I mean BOTH teachers and students.) One piece people all live in small, constantly threatened villages (kinda like in Fist of the North Star) so this kind of behaviour is pretty stupid. Shanks takes the bandit leader's insults like a pacifistic bitch, pissing off little 8-year-old Luffy as a result. What kind of pirates would laugh off such a situation, especially considering how they act mere pages later.
Continued in http://supersanereviews.blogspot.co.at/2017/02/one-piece-manga-rant-chapter-1-part-2.html
Part 1 of what hopefully will be an ongoing series and the original idea I wanted to create this blog for in the first place (though with Naruto part 2 instead - well eventually I'll get to that as well). Picking apart the shonen shit that is supposed to be a pirate adventury kind of thing though it's obviously some superhuman freakshow brawling instead. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the bottom of the barrel... ONE PIECE! (I'd rather have wine than Luffy in it, too.)
By the way, I wrote this some couple years back, so it's my oldest content other than the interactive fiction reviews (maybe?) featured here (with some revisions though. I'm worse with revisions than the Game Dude. Hell maybe even worse than George Lucas!). Also, I doubt that much of the horrible dialogue is caused by the translation. This is just horrendously unreadable if you like (your) manga to be a serious art form.
One Piece
Chapter 1
You know you're reading shitty manga when the first panel already doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Once upon a time (or rather not too long ago, I guess), the famous pirate Gold Roger had "conquered every single treasure that existed". Do I even need to say why this does not compute? Yes, since that is exactly the point of my reviews...
-) every single treasure would mean all of the gold, silver, paintings, art objects etc. in the entire world - so how did he transport it? Where did he store it? Let alone how did Gold Roger gather it in the first place?
-) gathering up a full amount of something that does not have intrinsic value pretty much renders it worthless. What would he buy with his unlimited resources if he already has "all the shinies"?!
-) Nami finds treasure soon enough into the manga, so obviously the "entire treasure of the world" isn't even TRUE. Seriously, why start your manga with something THIS stupid...
So with GR's execution the world "enters" the pirate age... clearly nobody has noticed GR stealing everything that isn't nailed down before then. The death of the biggest pirate of all time STARTS the pirate age. Yeah, that totally makes sense. If you're stupid.
Damn, all these problems and we're still on the first page. And the next one doesn't really improve things. The art is quite pretty and detailed though, no complaints about that.
Enter our protagonist, the oddly named "Monkey" D. Luffy. Nobody ever calls him Monkey though, so who the hell cares. At this point we have our first sign of shonen stupidity. Luffy, whose mouth alone is apparently bigger than his torso, cuts his FACE with a dagger. Good thing you didn't slip there or the eye would have been gone as well. Anyway this act of pure idiocy apparently proves he's a badass or something and continued to be allowed to hang out with his pirate pals. All side characters, especially crew members are always drawn to be bizarre freaks, by the way. The fat fuck who is always seen eating cartoonish meat on the bone is clearly the biggest offender here.
Anyway, Shanks, the good-hearted pirate who apparently never robs, rapes and kills people, is Luffy's big idol. We learn that Luffy can't swim - keep that in mind. Luffy is "tricked" into drinking juice to prove he's still a kid - obviously true pirates never drink juice. It's not like there would be such a thing as scurvy after all, damn those vitamins! Generic Nami-lookalike #1 is shown to be feeding kid Luffy, who has the best teeth in the world, being able to rip bites off steaks (maybe he is too dumb to be able to use fork and knife?) though it still would be nice to get to know why he doesn't have a family. Maybe Shanks will turn out to be his father...? That kind of predictable bullshit sure enough happened in Naruto, so maybe here too.
The next plot point is the apparent rivalry between "bandits" and pirates, which makes no sense whatsoever. It's the PIRATE AGE and the bandit leader has never seen pirates, yeah right. The pirates had been using this village as a base "for almost a year", and all the One Piece world consists of small islands - and bandits don't have ships, or they would BE pirates themselves. Do the math how it makes NO sense for the bandits to never have met the pirates. Also the bandit leader goes around breaking doors, smashing bottles on peoples' heads, littering and saying things like "We're bandits", not expecting anyone to get pissed off and removing such a threat to your village from his or her village. (I've met assholes only slightly less fucked in the head than this guy in real life, by the way - in school. And by that I mean BOTH teachers and students.) One piece people all live in small, constantly threatened villages (kinda like in Fist of the North Star) so this kind of behaviour is pretty stupid. Shanks takes the bandit leader's insults like a pacifistic bitch, pissing off little 8-year-old Luffy as a result. What kind of pirates would laugh off such a situation, especially considering how they act mere pages later.
Continued in http://supersanereviews.blogspot.co.at/2017/02/one-piece-manga-rant-chapter-1-part-2.html
Saturday 10 October 2015
Why I dropped #1 - Shingeki no Kyojin (aka "Attack on Titan") manga
Shingeki no Kyojin by Hajime Isayama
The CHARACTER design
So here is an update on my AOT review after reading a part of the manga that exceeds the material covered in the anime´s Season 1.
First of all, I liked the manga a bit better (which, of course, is the case with most manga to anime conversions I have experienced). The diversions from manga to anime are really minimal. The horrible chapter dealing with the basic training is shifted to a later point in the story (and should have not been published in the first place - it is atrocious as I described in my anime review). By the way, I realized there actually IS a leader presiding over all three branches of the military (though why we do not see more of him is anyone´s guess).
The big monkey on the back is of course the clusterfuck of a drawing style. Proportions are almost laughably bad. In the very first chapter the wall is described as being only 50 meters high, when compared with the height of a human it looks to be more like 150-200 meters! This is quite important of course, since a 200m Titan would be neigh unstoppable with humankind´s limited weaponry! The copy-and-paste buildings are of course another beam in the eye of the beholder´s brother. On the other hand, elements like the titans and humans (I can actually tell the most important characters apart on a glance!) are flawlessly designed, if not anything special.
But, since art style in manga and anime - just like graphics in video games - are really neglegible in importance to me, the reason why I dropped Shingeki no Kyojin eventually was the author´s betrayal of the original premise of the story.
To elaborate, AOT started out as the conflict of humanity and
EDIT: This post remained unfinished for some time. By now I have forgotten what I wanted to write, so here's the crucial point because of which I made the decision to stop: useless side-characters were getting long-winded backstories, and in a story where characters are so uniform and ultra-bland in the first place that just wasn't bearable as it didn't add the slightest thing to the main plot. So I gladly gave up on finishing this manga.
The CHARACTER design
So here is an update on my AOT review after reading a part of the manga that exceeds the material covered in the anime´s Season 1.
First of all, I liked the manga a bit better (which, of course, is the case with most manga to anime conversions I have experienced). The diversions from manga to anime are really minimal. The horrible chapter dealing with the basic training is shifted to a later point in the story (and should have not been published in the first place - it is atrocious as I described in my anime review). By the way, I realized there actually IS a leader presiding over all three branches of the military (though why we do not see more of him is anyone´s guess).
The big monkey on the back is of course the clusterfuck of a drawing style. Proportions are almost laughably bad. In the very first chapter the wall is described as being only 50 meters high, when compared with the height of a human it looks to be more like 150-200 meters! This is quite important of course, since a 200m Titan would be neigh unstoppable with humankind´s limited weaponry! The copy-and-paste buildings are of course another beam in the eye of the beholder´s brother. On the other hand, elements like the titans and humans (I can actually tell the most important characters apart on a glance!) are flawlessly designed, if not anything special.
But, since art style in manga and anime - just like graphics in video games - are really neglegible in importance to me, the reason why I dropped Shingeki no Kyojin eventually was the author´s betrayal of the original premise of the story.
To elaborate, AOT started out as the conflict of humanity and
EDIT: This post remained unfinished for some time. By now I have forgotten what I wanted to write, so here's the crucial point because of which I made the decision to stop: useless side-characters were getting long-winded backstories, and in a story where characters are so uniform and ultra-bland in the first place that just wasn't bearable as it didn't add the slightest thing to the main plot. So I gladly gave up on finishing this manga.
Sunday 20 September 2015
Interactive fiction review #8 - The Streets of London
The Streets of London by Allen Webb and Grant Privett (1982)
Sorry I don't follow your banter? Sorry I can't beat the authors up!
The Streets of London, originally released on the Commodore 64, seems to be a great grand uncle of the 2002 disasterpiece Underground Compound, because it is equally unplayable and disgustingly bad.
In this "game" your protagonist, named Marvin K Molestrangler, is on a quest to find the Holy Grail of all things! The Streets of London's Wikipedia article (!) claims that the game's humour was based on Monty Python, which is more than an insult to the legendary comedy troupe. I could spot only one or two references during the time I wasted on this garbage, the main one of course being the Holy Grail.
Nothing in this game makes the slightest sense. The map is confusing, rooms completely undetailed. The player is moved around randomly. You are given no indication of what to do. The parser... don't even ask. Interactive fiction sure has come a long way, but this parser is atrocious even for 1982. Your enemies in this game (there is a real-time fighting minigame that is impenetrable and probably completely broken) consist of "nasty old ladies" and "antepodians" (misspelt). The game's complete lack of any coherence and reason was maybe be intended to be amusing, but in reality it only manages to annoy and induce anger.
The Streets of London is a remnant of the dark age of interactive fiction, and even in this category failed to produce any legacy other than being one of the frustratingly worst disgraces to videogaming ever produced. Truly, it baffles my mind what the authors ever intended to accomplish with this... but then again you would have to share their insanity to be able to enjoy The Streets of London...
1/10
Sorry I don't follow your banter? Sorry I can't beat the authors up!
The Streets of London, originally released on the Commodore 64, seems to be a great grand uncle of the 2002 disasterpiece Underground Compound, because it is equally unplayable and disgustingly bad.
In this "game" your protagonist, named Marvin K Molestrangler, is on a quest to find the Holy Grail of all things! The Streets of London's Wikipedia article (!) claims that the game's humour was based on Monty Python, which is more than an insult to the legendary comedy troupe. I could spot only one or two references during the time I wasted on this garbage, the main one of course being the Holy Grail.
Nothing in this game makes the slightest sense. The map is confusing, rooms completely undetailed. The player is moved around randomly. You are given no indication of what to do. The parser... don't even ask. Interactive fiction sure has come a long way, but this parser is atrocious even for 1982. Your enemies in this game (there is a real-time fighting minigame that is impenetrable and probably completely broken) consist of "nasty old ladies" and "antepodians" (misspelt). The game's complete lack of any coherence and reason was maybe be intended to be amusing, but in reality it only manages to annoy and induce anger.
The Streets of London is a remnant of the dark age of interactive fiction, and even in this category failed to produce any legacy other than being one of the frustratingly worst disgraces to videogaming ever produced. Truly, it baffles my mind what the authors ever intended to accomplish with this... but then again you would have to share their insanity to be able to enjoy The Streets of London...
1/10
Sunday 6 September 2015
Interactive Fiction review #7 - CERCLA
CERCLA by J. P. Robinson (1993)
I swear people make these horrible games on purpose!
CERCLA by Jeffrey P. Robinson is yet another example for a game that never should have been made.
Your valiant search for... documents or something (the introduction is REALLY boring) leads you through a maximum of 169 (!) rooms which are "luckily" mostly empty. What begins in an office environment soon turns into something suffering from "unnecessary-inclusion-of-fantasy syndrome"(tm). As soon as I encountered the first dwarf the game was pretty much over for me.
But of course the problems of this game start right away on the first screen. Rather than letting the player carry items in his inventory you have to use a container, which serves no purpose whatsoever other than making things more tedious for the player.
You can barely examine or do anything in this game. "I don't understand x as a verb. You can't see y here. I don't. You can't. Mehmy mehmy meh." It's so much fun playing a colossally huge game with barely anything to look at or do! I swear some people put bad gameplay in their games on purpose just to piss the unsuspecting player off!
The writing in this game is not quite as piss-poor as some other atrocities I've encountered, but there are some very weird things happening.
The men's and women's bathroom descriptions, for example, produce the exact same text (including some very specific things that make this completely illogical) other than replacing the words "men" and "women", respectively. On two different floors!!!
Poems (not the author's!) are included randomly. Items are usually "glued down" or can't be taken for other ridiculous reasons. There are weird political undertones. There is no differentiation between entering a room for the first and sequential times, so things happen again and again when you press look or leave and re-enter a room. Even a creature you can kill is resurrected this way! The seriousness of the memos and documents you find and read (all of them boring and uninteresting) is painfully juxtaposed with the silliness of encountering fantasy creatures. In one location you encounter, of all things, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I mean, what did you expect, the Addams Family?!
Documents specifically adressing the player just lie around in the game world. In one instance you find the directions you can go to not in the room description, but in a note you find on the ground!!!
This game is a total mess and probably the result of the usage of some weird drugs. In fact, only that would explain the existence of this abomination perfectly.
1/10
I swear people make these horrible games on purpose!
CERCLA by Jeffrey P. Robinson is yet another example for a game that never should have been made.
Your valiant search for... documents or something (the introduction is REALLY boring) leads you through a maximum of 169 (!) rooms which are "luckily" mostly empty. What begins in an office environment soon turns into something suffering from "unnecessary-inclusion-of-fantasy syndrome"(tm). As soon as I encountered the first dwarf the game was pretty much over for me.
But of course the problems of this game start right away on the first screen. Rather than letting the player carry items in his inventory you have to use a container, which serves no purpose whatsoever other than making things more tedious for the player.
You can barely examine or do anything in this game. "I don't understand x as a verb. You can't see y here. I don't. You can't. Mehmy mehmy meh." It's so much fun playing a colossally huge game with barely anything to look at or do! I swear some people put bad gameplay in their games on purpose just to piss the unsuspecting player off!
The writing in this game is not quite as piss-poor as some other atrocities I've encountered, but there are some very weird things happening.
The men's and women's bathroom descriptions, for example, produce the exact same text (including some very specific things that make this completely illogical) other than replacing the words "men" and "women", respectively. On two different floors!!!
Poems (not the author's!) are included randomly. Items are usually "glued down" or can't be taken for other ridiculous reasons. There are weird political undertones. There is no differentiation between entering a room for the first and sequential times, so things happen again and again when you press look or leave and re-enter a room. Even a creature you can kill is resurrected this way! The seriousness of the memos and documents you find and read (all of them boring and uninteresting) is painfully juxtaposed with the silliness of encountering fantasy creatures. In one location you encounter, of all things, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I mean, what did you expect, the Addams Family?!
Documents specifically adressing the player just lie around in the game world. In one instance you find the directions you can go to not in the room description, but in a note you find on the ground!!!
This game is a total mess and probably the result of the usage of some weird drugs. In fact, only that would explain the existence of this abomination perfectly.
1/10
Wednesday 2 September 2015
Interactive fiction review #6 - The Onion of Destiny
The Onion of Destiny by Jason Dyer
Very short and plain speed-IF
The Onion of Destiny is a four-turn-minimum game set on the top of the Eiffel Tower. The sole puzzle is quickly figured out and the game over in a matter of minutes. You can also <spoiler>just wait for a number of turns to get the alternative ending.<end of spoiler>
There is really nothing noteworthy or special about this game, there is no humour or twist that would make it stand out even a little.
The only thing of interest I've noticed was a sentence missing a word ("The fistfight is far too complicated to possible"), but that's it. :-)
2/10
Very short and plain speed-IF
The Onion of Destiny is a four-turn-minimum game set on the top of the Eiffel Tower. The sole puzzle is quickly figured out and the game over in a matter of minutes. You can also <spoiler>just wait for a number of turns to get the alternative ending.<end of spoiler>
There is really nothing noteworthy or special about this game, there is no humour or twist that would make it stand out even a little.
The only thing of interest I've noticed was a sentence missing a word ("The fistfight is far too complicated to possible"), but that's it. :-)
2/10
Tuesday 18 August 2015
Anime review #2 - Serial Experiment Lain
Serial Experiment Lain - directed by Ryutaro Nakamura (1998)
The thing that drains you of your life force, one episode at a time
SEL is an experimental anime that disappoints across the board.
The plot is minimalistic to the bone. An adolescent girl gets hooked on the internet (which is called the "Wired"), visits a club with her friends, finds out her parents are actually actors or something, discovers she is only the material reflection of her "ghost in the machine" actual self (in other words a program), meets the "God" of the Wired (who turns out to be a forgettable loser) and ultimately rescinds her material existence to remain a silent, virtual watcher.
Now if you think something like - Wow, this is somewhat similar to the Matrix, this could be awesome! - No. This is nothing like Matrix. Not even like the sequels, and it hurts to use those as a positive example.
Describing SEL in only one word is easy, and the word is BORING. There are really no words for how watching the trickle of extremely repetitive events (well, traces of events), none of which ever form a coherent plot, bores the living shit out of the viewer! Watching Lain is best described by an analogy describing the results of eating spoiled (or really, any) fast food: Shit flushes through you, leaving no traces behind. What I can actually remember of the occurrences in Lain (like e.g. a girl committing suicide in the first episode) is not even worth mentioning because the mindless drone level of the series shuts out any event from being interesting, meaningful, or consequential! Watching this as an anime is utterly pointless. While viewing Lain I briefly thought about the idea of somebody creating an audiovisual collage from the footage, but that thought passed quickly. To boil down Lain to an essence, nothing happens and what happens... amounts to nothing.
One thing that usually never distract me is the unusually bad voice acting (we are talking about the original Japanese here of course, I don't watch dubs as a matter of principle). Lain, especially the fake one (I'm as confused as you are here...), has a really ugly, unsympathetic and toneless voice. Also, the obligatory stupid trio of little kids ("cool" wannabe protagonist boy, bratty girl infatuated to aforementioned and snot-nosed loser sidekick - so Naruto didn't even invent that... huh) has voice actors even the lousiest fandubbers (now that's a tautology) wouldn't hire.
What remains from Serial Experiment Lain are the bear pyjama (if that had been featured in a BETTER anime, it naturally would have assumed cult status) and Lain's stupid hair tie thingy. By the way, Lain has the ugliest eyes I've ever seen by far. Geinus (sic) idea, by the way, making her eyes the same colour as her hair. *puke*
Some episodes had visual noise comparable to the battle scenes in Puella Magica Madoka in it - I really hate that shit.
Oh yeah, and contrary to what the screenwriter stated, the Evangelion ripoff shots really pile up. But what's new in Animeland... what's new.
With all it shortcomings and lack of any good material or ideas whatsoever, SEL luckily still can't conquer the title of worst anime of all time... that honour remains with the dreadful vortex of suck called... no. Let the horror be unnamed for now...
...or not. Naruto Shippuden. The horror.
The thing that drains you of your life force, one episode at a time
SEL is an experimental anime that disappoints across the board.
 |
| Even this picture sucks, because it mentions Lain. |
The plot is minimalistic to the bone. An adolescent girl gets hooked on the internet (which is called the "Wired"), visits a club with her friends, finds out her parents are actually actors or something, discovers she is only the material reflection of her "ghost in the machine" actual self (in other words a program), meets the "God" of the Wired (who turns out to be a forgettable loser) and ultimately rescinds her material existence to remain a silent, virtual watcher.
Now if you think something like - Wow, this is somewhat similar to the Matrix, this could be awesome! - No. This is nothing like Matrix. Not even like the sequels, and it hurts to use those as a positive example.
Describing SEL in only one word is easy, and the word is BORING. There are really no words for how watching the trickle of extremely repetitive events (well, traces of events), none of which ever form a coherent plot, bores the living shit out of the viewer! Watching Lain is best described by an analogy describing the results of eating spoiled (or really, any) fast food: Shit flushes through you, leaving no traces behind. What I can actually remember of the occurrences in Lain (like e.g. a girl committing suicide in the first episode) is not even worth mentioning because the mindless drone level of the series shuts out any event from being interesting, meaningful, or consequential! Watching this as an anime is utterly pointless. While viewing Lain I briefly thought about the idea of somebody creating an audiovisual collage from the footage, but that thought passed quickly. To boil down Lain to an essence, nothing happens and what happens... amounts to nothing.
One thing that usually never distract me is the unusually bad voice acting (we are talking about the original Japanese here of course, I don't watch dubs as a matter of principle). Lain, especially the fake one (I'm as confused as you are here...), has a really ugly, unsympathetic and toneless voice. Also, the obligatory stupid trio of little kids ("cool" wannabe protagonist boy, bratty girl infatuated to aforementioned and snot-nosed loser sidekick - so Naruto didn't even invent that... huh) has voice actors even the lousiest fandubbers (now that's a tautology) wouldn't hire.
What remains from Serial Experiment Lain are the bear pyjama (if that had been featured in a BETTER anime, it naturally would have assumed cult status) and Lain's stupid hair tie thingy. By the way, Lain has the ugliest eyes I've ever seen by far. Geinus (sic) idea, by the way, making her eyes the same colour as her hair. *puke*
 |
| That quote about the abyss staring back at you never was more appropriate. |
Some episodes had visual noise comparable to the battle scenes in Puella Magica Madoka in it - I really hate that shit.
Oh yeah, and contrary to what the screenwriter stated, the Evangelion ripoff shots really pile up. But what's new in Animeland... what's new.
With all it shortcomings and lack of any good material or ideas whatsoever, SEL luckily still can't conquer the title of worst anime of all time... that honour remains with the dreadful vortex of suck called... no. Let the horror be unnamed for now...
...or not. Naruto Shippuden. The horror.
Sunday 9 August 2015
Youtubers I love #3 - Andrew's Games Display
Andrew's Games Display (2013-)
Andrew from Canada is a video game collector who focusses on Nintendo products but has hardware and games all the way back to Pong consoles. Apart from showcasing his collection he also Let's plays a multitude of different retro games, mostly random-game-of-the-day-style.
Andrew's about the nicest guy you could meet on the internet, and very knowledgable about all stuff retro. He was active in the SMW hacking scene, and my dream is to one day play a hack with him co-op style over the internet. ^^
Go check him out now!!!
https://www.youtube.com/user/andrewsgamesdisplay
Andrew from Canada is a video game collector who focusses on Nintendo products but has hardware and games all the way back to Pong consoles. Apart from showcasing his collection he also Let's plays a multitude of different retro games, mostly random-game-of-the-day-style.
Andrew's about the nicest guy you could meet on the internet, and very knowledgable about all stuff retro. He was active in the SMW hacking scene, and my dream is to one day play a hack with him co-op style over the internet. ^^
Go check him out now!!!
https://www.youtube.com/user/andrewsgamesdisplay
Wednesday 5 August 2015
Interactive Fiction review #5 - Episode in the Life of an Artist
Episode in the Life of an Artist by Peter Eastman (2003)
Episode in the Life of an Artist details the daily routine of the everyman/simpleton protagonist, from getting up and dressing, to preparing breakfast and taking the bus to work.
This game does a good job defining the personality of the protagonist by showing his view of the things he encounters. The mundaneness of his (apparently lonely) working-class existence is juxtaposed with his favourable self-view. The protagonist even considers himself an artist of mechanical genius, when ironically his job is so simple a machine is developed to replace him.
The counterpoint to some very interesting writing is the defectiveness of the programming. While still very playable, there are instances you will curse the author's tendency to require very specific inputs. (The final turn of the game is especially bad with this.) At least one one-time-only event is repeated every time you perform a certain action. The final (of fortunately few) puzzles is pure guesswork. You cannot read the victory message of the game because it is unfortunately automatically skipped. The scoring system was left in the game but is never used.
While, like mentioned above, the writing is interesting and done well, there are some weird instances that jar with the rest of the story. Putting fantasy elements in otherwise realistic settings is something I have a strong dislike of and in this game does not benefit this story in any way. In fact, the author's decision to let this story take place in a Zork-based universe is baffling and serves no obvious purpose.
Episode in the Life of an Artist is an interesting piece of work that is unfortunately hampered by abovementioned flaws but certainly worth being tried out.
4/10
Episode in the Life of an Artist details the daily routine of the everyman/simpleton protagonist, from getting up and dressing, to preparing breakfast and taking the bus to work.
This game does a good job defining the personality of the protagonist by showing his view of the things he encounters. The mundaneness of his (apparently lonely) working-class existence is juxtaposed with his favourable self-view. The protagonist even considers himself an artist of mechanical genius, when ironically his job is so simple a machine is developed to replace him.
The counterpoint to some very interesting writing is the defectiveness of the programming. While still very playable, there are instances you will curse the author's tendency to require very specific inputs. (The final turn of the game is especially bad with this.) At least one one-time-only event is repeated every time you perform a certain action. The final (of fortunately few) puzzles is pure guesswork. You cannot read the victory message of the game because it is unfortunately automatically skipped. The scoring system was left in the game but is never used.
While, like mentioned above, the writing is interesting and done well, there are some weird instances that jar with the rest of the story. Putting fantasy elements in otherwise realistic settings is something I have a strong dislike of and in this game does not benefit this story in any way. In fact, the author's decision to let this story take place in a Zork-based universe is baffling and serves no obvious purpose.
Episode in the Life of an Artist is an interesting piece of work that is unfortunately hampered by abovementioned flaws but certainly worth being tried out.
4/10
Wednesday 29 July 2015
...and RIP (in) Path of Exile too
DEAD tired of the ridiculous damage spikes
Well, I've been having some bad gaming experiences lately. First the LoL atrocity, and now that I've died for a second time in Path of Exile's current hardcore league (Tempest) from a completely unreasonable one-shot, I'm pretty much out of a game to play.
My build (Sweep + Vigilant strike endurance charge sustainrauder) and gear in both cases were definitely stronger than I had ever been before, especially in a hardcore league (I used to avoid those because of my tendency to leave the computer to do something else and then die afk in the wilderness because I didn't actually go back to town *facepalm*).
-) First one-shot came at level 63 from a Haku boss in an area 6-7 levels below mine... I almost quit for the season right there. Sure I had no charges in my health flasks left (because annoyingly enough you can't tp in a master zone...), and got distracted by an annoying person, but the sudden damage output (like 100x of a regular monster) was bullshit, plain and simple.
-) The second and TRUE one-shot (from max health to death in one attack!) was delivered... by the VAAL OVERSOUL! I mean, what the fuck, I've never died from that idiot since I was a complete noob! The only thing that was not perfect in my state was that I only had like 3 endurance charges at the moment instead of my maximum 7 (cause it's hard to get your charges from a single enemy in my build - in 99.9% of situations I have multiple enemies to work with), but that was it! 3500+ health, total tank build, one fist smash I couldn't dodge due to no quicksilver charges (and I always run 2 with +charges), BAM DEAD. I literally couldn't believe that shit! (level 66)
-) So am I gonna do the whole thing again, spend 30-40 hours (or more!) to get to the level I had, build everything the same AGAIN (cause I stand firmly by the statent that my build was very much ready to reach endgame - in other words mapping), get all the same gear I had (hundreds of alts to get perfect flasks to AVOID this kind of shit death) AGAIN and get randomly raped by some other suddenly overpowered piece of shit enemy GGG programs in to "make the game more challenging"?
No.
First, this hack and slash shit ruins my mouse hand. I've had carpal tunnel syndrome once before, and games like this are poison for my right hand. I've never had any problems while playing LoL at all, so it's the fact you have to hold down the mouse buttons for a very long time I cast the blame on, and that's unfortunately not avoidable at all in this genre.
Second, I've been banned for virtually no legit reason twice on the forums, in a very short time. The posts that DON'T cause me to get banned are virtually always ignored by other people, so that forum always has been a very negative experience for me.
I don't even want to go into all the other crippling problems PoE has, which are never ever tackled by Grinding Gear Games or even commented on, lest I would have to write 10000 words and I have better things to do with my time than say what everybody playing Path of Exile already knows themselves. So long story short, I deleted PoE (and LoL too) today. Probably will get back into playing the game once the next expansion is released, but it's so so very likely that also will be only a temporary experience once again...
...I need a new game
EDIT: Nevermind, I'm playing this 24/7 again. ^^
EDIT 2 (2.11.2015): done playing this until some new endgame system is introduced. I will never grind a map again until there is some long-term reward for it. I'm dreaming of a stronghold/land owning system, it's an idea of mine taken from old turn-based strategy games that could perfectly be integrated in this hack and slash to broaden the spectrum of the gameplay by hundreds of per cent. EDIT AD INFINITUM: and as of 4.2.2017, I'm still playing this shit... showcasing how miserable my existence is.
Well, I've been having some bad gaming experiences lately. First the LoL atrocity, and now that I've died for a second time in Path of Exile's current hardcore league (Tempest) from a completely unreasonable one-shot, I'm pretty much out of a game to play.
My build (Sweep + Vigilant strike endurance charge sustainrauder) and gear in both cases were definitely stronger than I had ever been before, especially in a hardcore league (I used to avoid those because of my tendency to leave the computer to do something else and then die afk in the wilderness because I didn't actually go back to town *facepalm*).
-) First one-shot came at level 63 from a Haku boss in an area 6-7 levels below mine... I almost quit for the season right there. Sure I had no charges in my health flasks left (because annoyingly enough you can't tp in a master zone...), and got distracted by an annoying person, but the sudden damage output (like 100x of a regular monster) was bullshit, plain and simple.
-) The second and TRUE one-shot (from max health to death in one attack!) was delivered... by the VAAL OVERSOUL! I mean, what the fuck, I've never died from that idiot since I was a complete noob! The only thing that was not perfect in my state was that I only had like 3 endurance charges at the moment instead of my maximum 7 (cause it's hard to get your charges from a single enemy in my build - in 99.9% of situations I have multiple enemies to work with), but that was it! 3500+ health, total tank build, one fist smash I couldn't dodge due to no quicksilver charges (and I always run 2 with +charges), BAM DEAD. I literally couldn't believe that shit! (level 66)
-) So am I gonna do the whole thing again, spend 30-40 hours (or more!) to get to the level I had, build everything the same AGAIN (cause I stand firmly by the statent that my build was very much ready to reach endgame - in other words mapping), get all the same gear I had (hundreds of alts to get perfect flasks to AVOID this kind of shit death) AGAIN and get randomly raped by some other suddenly overpowered piece of shit enemy GGG programs in to "make the game more challenging"?
No.
First, this hack and slash shit ruins my mouse hand. I've had carpal tunnel syndrome once before, and games like this are poison for my right hand. I've never had any problems while playing LoL at all, so it's the fact you have to hold down the mouse buttons for a very long time I cast the blame on, and that's unfortunately not avoidable at all in this genre.
Second, I've been banned for virtually no legit reason twice on the forums, in a very short time. The posts that DON'T cause me to get banned are virtually always ignored by other people, so that forum always has been a very negative experience for me.
I don't even want to go into all the other crippling problems PoE has, which are never ever tackled by Grinding Gear Games or even commented on, lest I would have to write 10000 words and I have better things to do with my time than say what everybody playing Path of Exile already knows themselves. So long story short, I deleted PoE (and LoL too) today. Probably will get back into playing the game once the next expansion is released, but it's so so very likely that also will be only a temporary experience once again...
...I need a new game
EDIT: Nevermind, I'm playing this 24/7 again. ^^
EDIT 2 (2.11.2015): done playing this until some new endgame system is introduced. I will never grind a map again until there is some long-term reward for it. I'm dreaming of a stronghold/land owning system, it's an idea of mine taken from old turn-based strategy games that could perfectly be integrated in this hack and slash to broaden the spectrum of the gameplay by hundreds of per cent. EDIT AD INFINITUM: and as of 4.2.2017, I'm still playing this shit... showcasing how miserable my existence is.
Friday 24 July 2015
RIP League of Legends :-(
Or rather Rito too dumb to live
So, yesterday was the introduction of patch 5.14 of League of Legends. I have suffered through a lot of stupidities on Riot's side, the worst of which certainly were the Summoner's Rift update which ruined my game experience for MONTHS til I could adapt to it (the bugs didn't help, and even at the end, I was still missing at least 1 in 3 last hits due to how last hitting was fucked up with the new minions), forcing me to ARAM and later Dominion modes instead of normal play. Also, of course, the atrocious champion "updates" (more like CRAPdates), which caused me to never tough Veigar, Zilean and Ryze again after they were changed, out of pure principle. FUCK adding more skillshots to champs who didn't have them before!
But the 5.14 HUD update is the end of the line. I don't have words for how bad and UNNEEDED that shit is. I was invested heavily in LoL, emotionally, playing more than 3000 games, but with this change (and of course in typical Riot fashion it's FORCED on you, whether you want it or not) I can permanently quit the game relatively painlessly. I for one won't take Riot's shit anymore and refuse to adapt to an ugly, confusing as hell, UNWANTED HUD after more than 3000 games. Enough is enough. More people already seem to hate this, so there is a slight possibility of them giving you the option to revert to the standard UI - I would of course return to playing in this case - but I'm not banking on it. Since the competitive MOBAs are unplayable for me because of their developers I'm out of a multiplayer game now. Oh well...
EDIT: needles to say, I'm back at playing this. Deleted and reinstalled three times so far. Playing this modern garbage version of LoL is chasing the ghost of a memory, but somehow I can't completely separate myself from it.
EDIT 2: deleted again. sure hope it stays that way.
EDIT 3 (2.11.2015): well you know the drill. playing again... though only ARAM. season 6 doesn't seem to improve the flaws in Rift, so I don't think I will ever have motivation to play ranked.
My final stats:
Normal - 593 wins, 17863 takedowns, 117794 minions
Dominion - 609 wins, 19226 takedowns, 8688 points captured
ARAM - 604 wins, 32745 takedowns, 601 towers
so all platinum badges except for normal wins :-( and minions (well 200000 was a long time away)
So, yesterday was the introduction of patch 5.14 of League of Legends. I have suffered through a lot of stupidities on Riot's side, the worst of which certainly were the Summoner's Rift update which ruined my game experience for MONTHS til I could adapt to it (the bugs didn't help, and even at the end, I was still missing at least 1 in 3 last hits due to how last hitting was fucked up with the new minions), forcing me to ARAM and later Dominion modes instead of normal play. Also, of course, the atrocious champion "updates" (more like CRAPdates), which caused me to never tough Veigar, Zilean and Ryze again after they were changed, out of pure principle. FUCK adding more skillshots to champs who didn't have them before!
But the 5.14 HUD update is the end of the line. I don't have words for how bad and UNNEEDED that shit is. I was invested heavily in LoL, emotionally, playing more than 3000 games, but with this change (and of course in typical Riot fashion it's FORCED on you, whether you want it or not) I can permanently quit the game relatively painlessly. I for one won't take Riot's shit anymore and refuse to adapt to an ugly, confusing as hell, UNWANTED HUD after more than 3000 games. Enough is enough. More people already seem to hate this, so there is a slight possibility of them giving you the option to revert to the standard UI - I would of course return to playing in this case - but I'm not banking on it. Since the competitive MOBAs are unplayable for me because of their developers I'm out of a multiplayer game now. Oh well...
EDIT: needles to say, I'm back at playing this. Deleted and reinstalled three times so far. Playing this modern garbage version of LoL is chasing the ghost of a memory, but somehow I can't completely separate myself from it.
EDIT 2: deleted again. sure hope it stays that way.
EDIT 3 (2.11.2015): well you know the drill. playing again... though only ARAM. season 6 doesn't seem to improve the flaws in Rift, so I don't think I will ever have motivation to play ranked.
My final stats:
Normal - 593 wins, 17863 takedowns, 117794 minions
Dominion - 609 wins, 19226 takedowns, 8688 points captured
ARAM - 604 wins, 32745 takedowns, 601 towers
so all platinum badges except for normal wins :-( and minions (well 200000 was a long time away)
Monday 20 July 2015
Youtubers I love #2 - Finngamer
Finngamer (2009-)
Finngamer is a Finn (well duh) called Janne, who collects video games and consoles, focussing especially on the Nintendo 64 and limited/collector's editions. What seperates him from most video game collectors and reviewers is his calm, mellow, in other words typical Finnish attitude and expression. He also very readily answers to comments, which many bigger collectors on Youtube don't bother to do. For people interested in seeing a vast and constantly increasing collection of both retro and modern games and consoles, there's no better European channel to check out!
https://www.youtube.com/user/finngamer
Finngamer is a Finn (well duh) called Janne, who collects video games and consoles, focussing especially on the Nintendo 64 and limited/collector's editions. What seperates him from most video game collectors and reviewers is his calm, mellow, in other words typical Finnish attitude and expression. He also very readily answers to comments, which many bigger collectors on Youtube don't bother to do. For people interested in seeing a vast and constantly increasing collection of both retro and modern games and consoles, there's no better European channel to check out!
https://www.youtube.com/user/finngamer
Saturday 18 July 2015
Interactive Fiction review #4 - The Thirty-Nine Steps
The Thirty-Nine Steps by Jack Lockerby (1995)
Nintendo Hard Spectrum game
The Thirty-Nine Steps by Jack Lockerby is a mystery/detective-like game based on the same-titled book by John Buchan. I'm not familiar with the source material, but games based on works of literature, movies, etc. are generally something I would like to see a lot more often.
This is a ZX Spectrum game, which will likely limit your save options to only one save state (ramsave), unless you're an expert with the system, I guess. The slowness of the parser is a huge problem, more often than not letters are swallowed because the software cannot keep up with an average typing speed. After doing some research I assume this to be a problem of the hardware itself.
The Thirty-Nine Steps has some interesting features. The room description is displayed in a separated partition on top of the screen and updated in real time. Likewise, the passage of time moves the game time forward. Time window puzzles combined with the abovementioned typing speed limitation lead to frenzied backspace manias.
The Thirty-Nine Steps is an extremely hard game. There is little time for exploration (literally), objects are barely manipulable and usually hidden (sometimes even in plain sight). The inventory management is sluggish and confusing, the size of items seems to matter when putting them in a container, but illogical situations still arise (e.g. placing a table in your coat pocket). Puzzles pretty much require you to know exactly what the author intended you to do. Even when you have stumbled on the solution to a problem, you will be forced to start this game again and again to optimize your path - wasting time will make you miss the time windows and leave you in limbo. In one situation you are required to carry no items in your inventory (except if they are in your container) - you better anticipated this and dropped all items you deemed unnecessary for your progress ON THE DAY BEFORE!
I managed to complete a fifth of the game, based on the score, but got stuck in an illogical situation where a cab driver rats you out to the police even though you have never met him before (or committed a crime, for that matter).
This game is not necessarily bad, but its crazy difficulty ensures that you will not get far without a walkthrough (to my knowledge, none exists) if you're not a text adventure god with a lot of time on your hands.
No rating
Nintendo Hard Spectrum game
The Thirty-Nine Steps by Jack Lockerby is a mystery/detective-like game based on the same-titled book by John Buchan. I'm not familiar with the source material, but games based on works of literature, movies, etc. are generally something I would like to see a lot more often.
This is a ZX Spectrum game, which will likely limit your save options to only one save state (ramsave), unless you're an expert with the system, I guess. The slowness of the parser is a huge problem, more often than not letters are swallowed because the software cannot keep up with an average typing speed. After doing some research I assume this to be a problem of the hardware itself.
The Thirty-Nine Steps has some interesting features. The room description is displayed in a separated partition on top of the screen and updated in real time. Likewise, the passage of time moves the game time forward. Time window puzzles combined with the abovementioned typing speed limitation lead to frenzied backspace manias.
The Thirty-Nine Steps is an extremely hard game. There is little time for exploration (literally), objects are barely manipulable and usually hidden (sometimes even in plain sight). The inventory management is sluggish and confusing, the size of items seems to matter when putting them in a container, but illogical situations still arise (e.g. placing a table in your coat pocket). Puzzles pretty much require you to know exactly what the author intended you to do. Even when you have stumbled on the solution to a problem, you will be forced to start this game again and again to optimize your path - wasting time will make you miss the time windows and leave you in limbo. In one situation you are required to carry no items in your inventory (except if they are in your container) - you better anticipated this and dropped all items you deemed unnecessary for your progress ON THE DAY BEFORE!
I managed to complete a fifth of the game, based on the score, but got stuck in an illogical situation where a cab driver rats you out to the police even though you have never met him before (or committed a crime, for that matter).
This game is not necessarily bad, but its crazy difficulty ensures that you will not get far without a walkthrough (to my knowledge, none exists) if you're not a text adventure god with a lot of time on your hands.
No rating
Monday 13 July 2015
Interactive Fiction review #3 - Annoyed Undead
Annoyed Undead by Roger Ostrander (1999)
Better than Twilight, but still...
Annoyed Undead is a nondescript and very short game in which you guide a vampire's escape from hostile territory.
This game deliberately avoids the inventory mechanic (even providing a reasonable justification for doing so), and unsurprisingly the few puzzles are thus easily solved. There are a few minor typos here and there. Even for a speed-IF title (or at least its equivalent) there's not much to look at or do in this game.
Unfortunately this game is far too bland and short to give it anything more than a
2/10
Better than Twilight, but still...
Annoyed Undead is a nondescript and very short game in which you guide a vampire's escape from hostile territory.
This game deliberately avoids the inventory mechanic (even providing a reasonable justification for doing so), and unsurprisingly the few puzzles are thus easily solved. There are a few minor typos here and there. Even for a speed-IF title (or at least its equivalent) there's not much to look at or do in this game.
Unfortunately this game is far too bland and short to give it anything more than a
2/10
Wednesday 8 July 2015
Anime review #1 - Shingeki no Kyojin (aka "Attack on Titan") - Season 1
Shingeki no Kyojin by Hajime Isayama - Season 1 (2013)
Chain of command? More like chain of fail!
Oh shonen anime, how you fail me again and again. Ever and anon, I dive into this kind of dreck trying to find the rose growing out of the dung heap. AoT is more Sakura (Haruno that is) than Saki, though...
The plot of AoT is quickly explained:
But seriously: the remainder of humanity is mysteriously walled in in an area only some hundred square kilometers big after a race of titanic and fearsome human-looking beings sprang out of nowhere and declared war on them. The human race, on the brink of extinction, has no choice but to defend their sanctuary with very limited technological means. Teen titan Eren Jaeger - the protagonist of the series - after his mother is eaten alive by the titans, joins the military to avenge his mother and become Hokage. Ahem, I mean, kill all the titans. Yeah.
The problems with AoT are the generic shonen problems one faces almost every time.
1. No internal logic
Oh boy, this is a major one. Watching this series was painful in two ways. The first is that not much in this story makes any sense. When criticizing in-universe problems, one has to be careful, since later revelations CAN explain stuff that seemed crazy or off earlier in the story. I honestly think this is not the case in this case though.
The very first episode already featured a major stinker, when the returning Survey Corps officer, completely disillusioned, exclaimed that they "had not found out a single thing about the titans". This is a completely absurd statement that perfectly displays the intelligence the author put into this story.
The military in general pissed me off with their incompetence and lack of understanding of basic psychology. Very early in the story we see the basic training of Eren and his pokepals. Recruits are humiliated, threatened, given only low quality food etc. After going through all this painful stuff (and I mean painful for the viewer!) the titans arrive and what happens? The troop morale is at rock bottom. Well NO SHIT! The distinction between fanatical elites (think Waffen-SS) and regulars cowering in fear is made quite clear right from the start of the battles. But, fighting the titans - while of course elites make most of the actual kills - is a war of attrition for humankind. Maybe, just maybe, if you didn't treat your soldiers like worthless shit, they wouldn't run at the first sign of danger... but, then again, who am I to argue with geinuses (sic) like Levi who are so unreachable in their cognition of battle situations they don't reveal their intentions or even GIVE ORDERS TO THEIR TROOPS. Which in turn makes their subordinates question their decisions (and sanity) AT EVERY STEP. Not to forget at one point a recruit actually thought loudly about killing his superior and this very thing even occurring frequently! Seriously, I wanted humanity to be wiped out for mercy's sake while watching this shit, because it has grown retarded beyond even the reality of the 21th century.
To add to the absolutely negative depiction of the human race in AoT, corruption is on an all time high. Two out of three military branches are absolutely useless, peasants are so suppressed they don't even feature much in the storyline (which is a missed opportunity). To top it off, there's supposed to be a king in the centre of the circle (serving him is a "special honour" of course), which we NEVER SEE. Shouldn't he be at the centre of command too? Why is the survey corps (with our Mary Sue main characters riding right next to the commanding officers even though they are lowly recruits) never informed of the kings new world orders. So, maybe the king is, like, a kid, or a retard only put in office by this advisers who rule in his stead. But shouldn't there be at least a minister of war supervising the three branches, making sure the garrison stays in fighting condition, even after a hundred years of peace?!
Alas - like I said - maybe our hack, ahem, I mean hero, Hajime Isayama, planned all of this all along, and at the end of the story things will magically wrap itself up. So it's time now to face the REAL problems of Attack on Titan.
2. The focus & 3. The characters
The focus of this story is on Eren and the rest of the scoobies from his recruit class. Their organigram structure is just like the one in Naruto, only that in this one the Sakura is actually useful and Sasuke is a nerd instead of an emo.
Eren wishes to kill all the titans. That's all he cares and does. Plus he is, like all the elite characters in this story, a complete sucker for authority. Even when facing the man who beat him up savagely in front of a show trial he is made humble and never does even a single word of protest or revolt cross his lips. When Eren died, I thought that maybe THEN the story would take a turn and become more interesting, but no - he just comes back and acts like nothing had happened, only he's a titan now too. Eren is just the archetype of the featureless, overpowered, bland AS FUCK shonen protagonist.
His foster sister, Mikas-. Oh, no, let's call her Mishima Reika instead, cause that is who she reminded me of every time she was on the screen.
Mishima rivals her brother (and later love interest, I bet) in blandness, only that instead of always being angry she is emotionless to the point of being a fucking robot (and not in the GOOD way). Her shonen goal(tm) is to protect Eren forever. No real reason is given for this (he saved her when her family was murdered, but this still doesn't explain the creepy obsession); it is actually baffling how the author managed to have Mishima and Eren not having a single line of dialogue together that didn't involve the current situation of fighting the titans or him yelling about exterminating the aforementioned! Oh, and she's apparently a super soldier, despite growing up doing nothing but adoring her housewife foster mother and wearing a skirt. That is NOT the story heroes are born of.
Armin is a loser/nerd childhood friend of the abovementioned who tags along, and that's basically all he ever is. Nothing to be said here.
The rest of the Wall Rose 11 are even blander than a typical Naruto minor character. One girl defied the drill sergeant by eating a potato (and getting punished for it, instead of being commended for spirit and fearlessness).
One background pony once argued with Eren and found Mishima's oriental hair pretty, hm... that's pretty much all I remember about those. Never mind names or faces, I couldn't be bothered to memorize those to save my life!
The rest of regulars is composed of the Survey Corps officers, who are supposed to be unprecedented geniuses (based on the event in episode 1 that pretty much proves the Survey Corps is completely useless at that point), but actually come across as colossal (PUN) assholes, the main one of which of course is Levi, who reminded me a lot of L of Death Note fame. Or maybe the insane science officer who is a regular Mengele when dealing with titans or any human who can transform.
To sum up, the characters are blander than a white crayon drawing of Bella Swan, and this fact is reinforced and made worse by the focus of the story, which is entirely on fighting the titans.
The titans attack (why isn't the western name of this show "Attack OF the Titans" instead of the nonsensical "Attack ON Titan"...?) - people die, titans are slain, humans retreat. Titans attack, people die, titans are slain, humans retreat. etc etc. That is all you ever see in this show. This is literally the most single-minded anime there could ever be. There is no second layer like e.g. advisors of the king arguing, or the depiction of the life of the commoners, the aftermath of a titan battle on noncombatants, anything. I believe that actually a great point of attraction lies herein for people who actually like this show, getting sucked in in a straightforward war with clearly distinguished sides. Of course, anybody who has the capacity to dissect shonen cliches and structures will rather reject something so pitifully simple in concept and execution. Oh I forgot, one time the humans advance, get killed, some titans get killed too, humans retreat... oh fuck it.
4. The tone
All that is left to talk about is the tone. The tone of Atrocity on Turnips is heavily militaristic and authority-heavy. Common people seem to have very limited freedom and basically quite shitty lives. A lot get just sent to their deaths after the outer wall falls. Soldiers' lives are equally cut (PUN) short mainly by the abovementioned questionable leadership methods and the idiotic sole battle tactic of engaging colossal creatures well versed in grappling and swallowing whole in MELEE (and airborne!) combat. Of course, we all know that the fact humanity couldn't just invent a sniper gun to pierce the titan's necks is because the 3D animation of soldiers jumping and swinging around like Spiderman after one or two glasses of whiskey too many looks FLASHY. To cut a long story short, the incompetence of the entire leadership (both political and military) is never questioned, and that makes this story look quite pro-fascist. The ugly, brute, retard-like titans of course only add to that observation.
"If only all slackers and cowards would subjugate to authority, we could wipe these foreign creatures who are not like us out, cause we're all in this together!"
In the end, there is a slight plot twist, namely that the titans have had supporters among humankind all along! (I can see why... but I doubt much changing the tone of the story will come from that.) One girl, who was apparently a recruit along with Eren et alii, is a human/titan hybrid as well and gets captured via the execution of an idiotically convoluted plot, but turns into a stasis form and therefore eludes questioning and dissection. So if this story does one thing right (and that is basically the truth, it does only exactly ONE thing right!), it keeps you wondering what will happen next. As much as I was cursing at the screen (mentally, at least) while watching the supposed elite of mankind being mistreated by their idiotic commanding officers and for Mishima to finally SAY something to Eren that you would to somebody you have spent almost your whole fucking life with together as siblings, I am still looking forward to the next season (or might read the manga so I don't have to wait for that).
5. Predictions for S2
-) somebody will be tortured for being believed to be in league with the titans or a titan himself
-) Armin makes an unsuccessful move on Mishima and gets REKT
-) Mishima doesn't say anything casual to Eren in the entire season AGAIN
-) the king or other top brass is revealed to have created the entire titan threat as a distraction and threat so the leading class isn't overthrown by a huge revolution (this might happen in a later season, though, if applicable)
-) season 2 will piss me off
6. Conclusion
All in all, the Hitlerjugend would gladly have watched this in their weekly education class. So, if you can ignore the faults of the plot, the tediousness of character design and the glaring political undertones, you might as well be blown away by this show! I for one hope you CAN'T do that...
Chain of command? More like chain of fail!
Oh shonen anime, how you fail me again and again. Ever and anon, I dive into this kind of dreck trying to find the rose growing out of the dung heap. AoT is more Sakura (Haruno that is) than Saki, though...
The plot of AoT is quickly explained:
 |
| Don't worry, kids. It's ALMOST that simple. |
But seriously: the remainder of humanity is mysteriously walled in in an area only some hundred square kilometers big after a race of titanic and fearsome human-looking beings sprang out of nowhere and declared war on them. The human race, on the brink of extinction, has no choice but to defend their sanctuary with very limited technological means. Teen titan Eren Jaeger - the protagonist of the series - after his mother is eaten alive by the titans, joins the military to avenge his mother and become Hokage. Ahem, I mean, kill all the titans. Yeah.
The problems with AoT are the generic shonen problems one faces almost every time.
1. No internal logic
Oh boy, this is a major one. Watching this series was painful in two ways. The first is that not much in this story makes any sense. When criticizing in-universe problems, one has to be careful, since later revelations CAN explain stuff that seemed crazy or off earlier in the story. I honestly think this is not the case in this case though.
The very first episode already featured a major stinker, when the returning Survey Corps officer, completely disillusioned, exclaimed that they "had not found out a single thing about the titans". This is a completely absurd statement that perfectly displays the intelligence the author put into this story.
The military in general pissed me off with their incompetence and lack of understanding of basic psychology. Very early in the story we see the basic training of Eren and his pokepals. Recruits are humiliated, threatened, given only low quality food etc. After going through all this painful stuff (and I mean painful for the viewer!) the titans arrive and what happens? The troop morale is at rock bottom. Well NO SHIT! The distinction between fanatical elites (think Waffen-SS) and regulars cowering in fear is made quite clear right from the start of the battles. But, fighting the titans - while of course elites make most of the actual kills - is a war of attrition for humankind. Maybe, just maybe, if you didn't treat your soldiers like worthless shit, they wouldn't run at the first sign of danger... but, then again, who am I to argue with geinuses (sic) like Levi who are so unreachable in their cognition of battle situations they don't reveal their intentions or even GIVE ORDERS TO THEIR TROOPS. Which in turn makes their subordinates question their decisions (and sanity) AT EVERY STEP. Not to forget at one point a recruit actually thought loudly about killing his superior and this very thing even occurring frequently! Seriously, I wanted humanity to be wiped out for mercy's sake while watching this shit, because it has grown retarded beyond even the reality of the 21th century.
To add to the absolutely negative depiction of the human race in AoT, corruption is on an all time high. Two out of three military branches are absolutely useless, peasants are so suppressed they don't even feature much in the storyline (which is a missed opportunity). To top it off, there's supposed to be a king in the centre of the circle (serving him is a "special honour" of course), which we NEVER SEE. Shouldn't he be at the centre of command too? Why is the survey corps (with our Mary Sue main characters riding right next to the commanding officers even though they are lowly recruits) never informed of the kings new world orders. So, maybe the king is, like, a kid, or a retard only put in office by this advisers who rule in his stead. But shouldn't there be at least a minister of war supervising the three branches, making sure the garrison stays in fighting condition, even after a hundred years of peace?!
Alas - like I said - maybe our hack, ahem, I mean hero, Hajime Isayama, planned all of this all along, and at the end of the story things will magically wrap itself up. So it's time now to face the REAL problems of Attack on Titan.
2. The focus & 3. The characters
The focus of this story is on Eren and the rest of the scoobies from his recruit class. Their organigram structure is just like the one in Naruto, only that in this one the Sakura is actually useful and Sasuke is a nerd instead of an emo.
Eren wishes to kill all the titans. That's all he cares and does. Plus he is, like all the elite characters in this story, a complete sucker for authority. Even when facing the man who beat him up savagely in front of a show trial he is made humble and never does even a single word of protest or revolt cross his lips. When Eren died, I thought that maybe THEN the story would take a turn and become more interesting, but no - he just comes back and acts like nothing had happened, only he's a titan now too. Eren is just the archetype of the featureless, overpowered, bland AS FUCK shonen protagonist.
His foster sister, Mikas-. Oh, no, let's call her Mishima Reika instead, cause that is who she reminded me of every time she was on the screen.
 |
| Long hair, scarf around neck, dress/skirt, blank expression all the time, not conversing with the main character in a meaningful way. The picture doesn't do their similiarity justice though, sadly. At least that strand of hair in the middle matches. |
Mishima rivals her brother (and later love interest, I bet) in blandness, only that instead of always being angry she is emotionless to the point of being a fucking robot (and not in the GOOD way). Her shonen goal(tm) is to protect Eren forever. No real reason is given for this (he saved her when her family was murdered, but this still doesn't explain the creepy obsession); it is actually baffling how the author managed to have Mishima and Eren not having a single line of dialogue together that didn't involve the current situation of fighting the titans or him yelling about exterminating the aforementioned! Oh, and she's apparently a super soldier, despite growing up doing nothing but adoring her housewife foster mother and wearing a skirt. That is NOT the story heroes are born of.
Armin is a loser/nerd childhood friend of the abovementioned who tags along, and that's basically all he ever is. Nothing to be said here.
The rest of the Wall Rose 11 are even blander than a typical Naruto minor character. One girl defied the drill sergeant by eating a potato (and getting punished for it, instead of being commended for spirit and fearlessness).
 |
| I like her, because she's different. Even though I don't actually know her name. |
One background pony once argued with Eren and found Mishima's oriental hair pretty, hm... that's pretty much all I remember about those. Never mind names or faces, I couldn't be bothered to memorize those to save my life!
The rest of regulars is composed of the Survey Corps officers, who are supposed to be unprecedented geniuses (based on the event in episode 1 that pretty much proves the Survey Corps is completely useless at that point), but actually come across as colossal (PUN) assholes, the main one of which of course is Levi, who reminded me a lot of L of Death Note fame. Or maybe the insane science officer who is a regular Mengele when dealing with titans or any human who can transform.
To sum up, the characters are blander than a white crayon drawing of Bella Swan, and this fact is reinforced and made worse by the focus of the story, which is entirely on fighting the titans.
The titans attack (why isn't the western name of this show "Attack OF the Titans" instead of the nonsensical "Attack ON Titan"...?) - people die, titans are slain, humans retreat. Titans attack, people die, titans are slain, humans retreat. etc etc. That is all you ever see in this show. This is literally the most single-minded anime there could ever be. There is no second layer like e.g. advisors of the king arguing, or the depiction of the life of the commoners, the aftermath of a titan battle on noncombatants, anything. I believe that actually a great point of attraction lies herein for people who actually like this show, getting sucked in in a straightforward war with clearly distinguished sides. Of course, anybody who has the capacity to dissect shonen cliches and structures will rather reject something so pitifully simple in concept and execution. Oh I forgot, one time the humans advance, get killed, some titans get killed too, humans retreat... oh fuck it.
4. The tone
All that is left to talk about is the tone. The tone of Atrocity on Turnips is heavily militaristic and authority-heavy. Common people seem to have very limited freedom and basically quite shitty lives. A lot get just sent to their deaths after the outer wall falls. Soldiers' lives are equally cut (PUN) short mainly by the abovementioned questionable leadership methods and the idiotic sole battle tactic of engaging colossal creatures well versed in grappling and swallowing whole in MELEE (and airborne!) combat. Of course, we all know that the fact humanity couldn't just invent a sniper gun to pierce the titan's necks is because the 3D animation of soldiers jumping and swinging around like Spiderman after one or two glasses of whiskey too many looks FLASHY. To cut a long story short, the incompetence of the entire leadership (both political and military) is never questioned, and that makes this story look quite pro-fascist. The ugly, brute, retard-like titans of course only add to that observation.
"If only all slackers and cowards would subjugate to authority, we could wipe these foreign creatures who are not like us out, cause we're all in this together!"
In the end, there is a slight plot twist, namely that the titans have had supporters among humankind all along! (I can see why... but I doubt much changing the tone of the story will come from that.) One girl, who was apparently a recruit along with Eren et alii, is a human/titan hybrid as well and gets captured via the execution of an idiotically convoluted plot, but turns into a stasis form and therefore eludes questioning and dissection. So if this story does one thing right (and that is basically the truth, it does only exactly ONE thing right!), it keeps you wondering what will happen next. As much as I was cursing at the screen (mentally, at least) while watching the supposed elite of mankind being mistreated by their idiotic commanding officers and for Mishima to finally SAY something to Eren that you would to somebody you have spent almost your whole fucking life with together as siblings, I am still looking forward to the next season (or might read the manga so I don't have to wait for that).
5. Predictions for S2
-) somebody will be tortured for being believed to be in league with the titans or a titan himself
-) Armin makes an unsuccessful move on Mishima and gets REKT
-) Mishima doesn't say anything casual to Eren in the entire season AGAIN
-) the king or other top brass is revealed to have created the entire titan threat as a distraction and threat so the leading class isn't overthrown by a huge revolution (this might happen in a later season, though, if applicable)
-) season 2 will piss me off
6. Conclusion
All in all, the Hitlerjugend would gladly have watched this in their weekly education class. So, if you can ignore the faults of the plot, the tediousness of character design and the glaring political undertones, you might as well be blown away by this show! I for one hope you CAN'T do that...
Monday 6 July 2015
Youtubers I love #1 - Chrontendo
Chrontendo (2007-)
Chrontendo is a project by the user with the name Dr. Sparkle which attempts to do a full chronological history of Famicom/NES games. Each episode covers 10 games, with the acknowledged "classic" titles getting a longer discussion. Eventually the Chron-project also branched out to the PC Engine/TurboGrafx-16 and Sega Master System consoles.
Chrontendo is one of those projects which I was immediately sold on after learning about their existence. An absolute must for anybody even remotely interested in Retrogaming to check this series out!
Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/Chrontendo
and his blog: http://www.chrontendo.blogspot.com
Chrontendo is a project by the user with the name Dr. Sparkle which attempts to do a full chronological history of Famicom/NES games. Each episode covers 10 games, with the acknowledged "classic" titles getting a longer discussion. Eventually the Chron-project also branched out to the PC Engine/TurboGrafx-16 and Sega Master System consoles.
Chrontendo is one of those projects which I was immediately sold on after learning about their existence. An absolute must for anybody even remotely interested in Retrogaming to check this series out!
Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/Chrontendo
and his blog: http://www.chrontendo.blogspot.com
Thursday 2 July 2015
Interactive Fiction review #2 - ROWR!
ROWR! by Gunther Schmidl (2000)
The word "DNAnalyzer" is surprisingly hard to type
Pointless linear-pathed time travel/dinosaur-based, fourth-wall-breaking game that was written and can be played through in 5 minutes, respectively. No attempts were taken to implement anything even remotely out of the ordinary and hence there is very little to say about this dispensable story.
One particular quirk that might mildly hamper your playthrough: <spoiler> PULLING a button. <end of spoiler> Yeah, that makes sense. It´s probably stuck or something.
2/10
Note: at the current point I do not know how to implement spoiler tags. Just select the above "blank" spot with your mouse to read it.
Thursday 25 June 2015
Interactive Fiction review #1 - Signos
Signos, by Mauricio Diaz Garcia (aka M4u) (2012)
Signos: The Hands of Enlightenment
Signos by Mauricio Diaz Garcia is a middle-length, allegorical quest for enlightenment.
On his way to inner peace (and stuff), the traveller is beset by unexpectedly required interactions, perilous spelling errors and vengeful lack of synonyms. You know you have a good game on your hands when the in-game walkthrough doesn´t match up with what you actually have to input to complete the game! On the plus side, the hyperlink-driven interface keeps you focussed on gameplay-relevant items and persons (but don´t expect anything else mentioned in room descriptions to actually be implemented in any way).
The story of Signos takes place in a dreamscape (even though the game keeps reminding you that you are actually "already awake"), requiring interaction with objects which are mostly symbolic and several NPCs, themselves representing mainstream religions, annoying the player with quasi-philosophical ramblings that amount to little more than nonsense. Perhaps the author intended to use broken room descriptions, mysteriously undefined items and the lack of any beta testing to allude to a deeper, enlightening purpose, but as the game is, even though enhanced by the praisable inclusion of pictures and sound effects, it fails to draw its player into the game world since one is constantly confronted with its blatant mistakes.
Despite Signos being, for the most part, an unsalvageable failure, I for one still endorse the intention of the author. The basic idea of creating a symbolic, surreal, metaphysical journey perfectly lends itself to the medium of interactive fiction. While Signos certainly isn´t the "Holy Mountain" or "El Topo" of text adventures, one probably can still play it to experience for himself how NOT to write a game of its genre.
3/10
originally written for the Interactive Fiction Database (check it out for thousands of text adventures to play for free - some even directly in the browser, no registration required!)
http://ifdb.tads.org/
Signos: The Hands of Enlightenment
Signos by Mauricio Diaz Garcia is a middle-length, allegorical quest for enlightenment.
On his way to inner peace (and stuff), the traveller is beset by unexpectedly required interactions, perilous spelling errors and vengeful lack of synonyms. You know you have a good game on your hands when the in-game walkthrough doesn´t match up with what you actually have to input to complete the game! On the plus side, the hyperlink-driven interface keeps you focussed on gameplay-relevant items and persons (but don´t expect anything else mentioned in room descriptions to actually be implemented in any way).
The story of Signos takes place in a dreamscape (even though the game keeps reminding you that you are actually "already awake"), requiring interaction with objects which are mostly symbolic and several NPCs, themselves representing mainstream religions, annoying the player with quasi-philosophical ramblings that amount to little more than nonsense. Perhaps the author intended to use broken room descriptions, mysteriously undefined items and the lack of any beta testing to allude to a deeper, enlightening purpose, but as the game is, even though enhanced by the praisable inclusion of pictures and sound effects, it fails to draw its player into the game world since one is constantly confronted with its blatant mistakes.
Despite Signos being, for the most part, an unsalvageable failure, I for one still endorse the intention of the author. The basic idea of creating a symbolic, surreal, metaphysical journey perfectly lends itself to the medium of interactive fiction. While Signos certainly isn´t the "Holy Mountain" or "El Topo" of text adventures, one probably can still play it to experience for himself how NOT to write a game of its genre.
3/10
originally written for the Interactive Fiction Database (check it out for thousands of text adventures to play for free - some even directly in the browser, no registration required!)
http://ifdb.tads.org/
Saturday 20 June 2015
First impressions #1 - Narutaru (aka "Shadow Star")
Narutaru by Mohiro Kitoh (1998-2003)
First impression: (technically I wrote this a month or two before my created my first blog post)
Wow. Just wow. Mind blown. I have flown through this manga in 4 days, and that is saying something! Clearly this work merits a more thorough commentary, but I have to simply write down my impressions or lose my mind instead!
Narutaru is untiringly introducing new concepts in basically every chapter, sketching them only slightly, and seemingly dropping them in favour of new ideas. This is both a blessing and a curse in multiple ways.
I for one would have (as usual) preferred the story to stay away from shifting too much focus on the supernatural plot elements. The character of Shiina, while lacking depth, is very likable. I would have preferred to see the aftermath of the drama happening in the first part (and especially the first third) of the manga played out a lot more visible. Akira (who is unfortunately ignored for most of the second part of the manga (Vol. 8-End)) falling apart mentally due to the bad things happening to her was easily one of the best parts of the entire manga. Likewise Shiina is never really shown to suffer too much (making her character appear more and more unrealistic as the story progresses), continuing to live in her flimsy, carefree and certainly also oblivous way after things go to hell repeatedly - til part 2 when her character is drained of any reflective thought and becomes a pure object furthering the plot. In other words, the integrity of her character is completely broken, Shiina becomes another person entirely (why not call her Shiina 2). Surely the events of part 1 contribute to the creation of Shiina 2, but the clean break in her depiction, unexplained by the sketchy story of course, is something I consider a deep flaw in this manga. Akira fares even worse, since we barely see her later on! Her demotion from main character to extra is unexpected and baffling.
Some technical problems I had with this manga are the fact the insanely large cast of characters who are more often than not extremely hard to distinguish visibly. Mamiko Kuri and Akira, what a nightmare! Also the endless armada of black-haired boys! To add insult to injury, the speech bubbles lack the part designating who is saying what! I don't know whether this problem was introduced by the translators (and continued by the fansubbers), but it is an absolute no-go, especially in a manga where new ideas are introduced by the minute and information on characters' motivations and opinions are extremely meagre by design!
Rapid action (as in the airplane and gun porn heavily featured in this manga) does never translate to static black-and-white drawings very well in my opinion. I found myself skimming the battle scenes pretty quickly, since I barely could tell what was going on.
The end was something else and saved the second part - well almost. I can't forgive the inscrutable exclusion of Akira from the plot. I LIKED Akira :-(.
I can say I was emotionally afflicted quite a lot by this manga! Reading Narutaru was certainly a unique encounter, a read more like a dream or trip than a linear experience. While I wasn't expecting a Second Coming of Eva (which I don't believe in anyway), my fascination with the early events and the characters of Shiina 1 and Akira HAS been marred by the story and characters developing in a way I did not like in part 2. Certain late events are better ignored, but more on that later when I do a more in-depth review.
All in all, a detailed and reasonably complex story every fan of sophisticated manga should read as soon as possible.
PS: By the way, the anime adaptation has been given only only 12 episodes to retell the first half of the manga, and twice the amount of runtime would not have been enough to reasonably explore HALF the featured content. Definitely read the manga first or you won't have any idea how good the story really is!
First impression: (technically I wrote this a month or two before my created my first blog post)
Wow. Just wow. Mind blown. I have flown through this manga in 4 days, and that is saying something! Clearly this work merits a more thorough commentary, but I have to simply write down my impressions or lose my mind instead!
Narutaru is untiringly introducing new concepts in basically every chapter, sketching them only slightly, and seemingly dropping them in favour of new ideas. This is both a blessing and a curse in multiple ways.
I for one would have (as usual) preferred the story to stay away from shifting too much focus on the supernatural plot elements. The character of Shiina, while lacking depth, is very likable. I would have preferred to see the aftermath of the drama happening in the first part (and especially the first third) of the manga played out a lot more visible. Akira (who is unfortunately ignored for most of the second part of the manga (Vol. 8-End)) falling apart mentally due to the bad things happening to her was easily one of the best parts of the entire manga. Likewise Shiina is never really shown to suffer too much (making her character appear more and more unrealistic as the story progresses), continuing to live in her flimsy, carefree and certainly also oblivous way after things go to hell repeatedly - til part 2 when her character is drained of any reflective thought and becomes a pure object furthering the plot. In other words, the integrity of her character is completely broken, Shiina becomes another person entirely (why not call her Shiina 2). Surely the events of part 1 contribute to the creation of Shiina 2, but the clean break in her depiction, unexplained by the sketchy story of course, is something I consider a deep flaw in this manga. Akira fares even worse, since we barely see her later on! Her demotion from main character to extra is unexpected and baffling.
Some technical problems I had with this manga are the fact the insanely large cast of characters who are more often than not extremely hard to distinguish visibly. Mamiko Kuri and Akira, what a nightmare! Also the endless armada of black-haired boys! To add insult to injury, the speech bubbles lack the part designating who is saying what! I don't know whether this problem was introduced by the translators (and continued by the fansubbers), but it is an absolute no-go, especially in a manga where new ideas are introduced by the minute and information on characters' motivations and opinions are extremely meagre by design!
Rapid action (as in the airplane and gun porn heavily featured in this manga) does never translate to static black-and-white drawings very well in my opinion. I found myself skimming the battle scenes pretty quickly, since I barely could tell what was going on.
The end was something else and saved the second part - well almost. I can't forgive the inscrutable exclusion of Akira from the plot. I LIKED Akira :-(.
I can say I was emotionally afflicted quite a lot by this manga! Reading Narutaru was certainly a unique encounter, a read more like a dream or trip than a linear experience. While I wasn't expecting a Second Coming of Eva (which I don't believe in anyway), my fascination with the early events and the characters of Shiina 1 and Akira HAS been marred by the story and characters developing in a way I did not like in part 2. Certain late events are better ignored, but more on that later when I do a more in-depth review.
All in all, a detailed and reasonably complex story every fan of sophisticated manga should read as soon as possible.
PS: By the way, the anime adaptation has been given only only 12 episodes to retell the first half of the manga, and twice the amount of runtime would not have been enough to reasonably explore HALF the featured content. Definitely read the manga first or you won't have any idea how good the story really is!
Monday 15 June 2015
Manga opinion #1 - Arigatou
Arigatou by Naoki Yamamoto (1994-1995)
I
think the opening could have benefitted from a little introduction
chapter, a "calm before the storm".
The
ending was disappointing - to be plain, it was bad, really bad.
Casually
introducing a couple whose romance wasn't fully developed or in
stupider cases like this one not even developed at all (see also:
Elfen Lied manga, Naruto, NARUTARO) having a baby is an unforgivable
offence in itself. But having the most ego-centered character I've
ever witnessed give birth is just abominable. The worst possible
mother (You're hungry, baby? Well too bad, cause you're NOT ME. But
your crying is annoying, so DO get out of my face!) should not have a
baby at all for that reason alone.
One
has to wonder how she even introduced herself to her new family. I
bet it was something like "Well my family split up and there's
only two guys I could stay with, the bug (who I never really cared
about but tossed a pity fuck, because, why not) or the violent,
psychopathic fat guy from the earlier plot who's really good at
fucking. Meh, either way is fine." The splitting up part, while
justified in-universe, made really no sense whatsoever. Could Shokou
ever live completely alone? She's coming to the last reunion on her
own, so she probably (especially after her earlier experiences)
doesn't have a boyfriend. She was never shown to have friends (only
the opposite). She calls her sister ONCE a year. But she can, after
not even being able to leave the house, all of a sudden get her life
back on track and go to college? If that's what happens, author, at
least SHOW US, otherwise it's just bullshit you pulled out of
nothing. The father doesn't go to Russia to work the job he has
already accepted? What? But he still survives without a home or job
for years? Huh? Laziness much?!
Takako
is really a case of underdevelopment and laziness. First of all, her
entire life consists of violently reacting to harassment, being
annoyed by her mother and especially father - and sex stuff. She is
never shown having interests, hobbies, dreams, plans. That could make
for a very unique and interesting character, of course, but like I
said, the development is simply not there, with the author rather
going for a LOT of repetition in her facial expressions and behavior.
Since the mangaka had done more than a dozen works before, this is
not just a beginner's fault, sadly.
Second,
Takako has no emotional connection to any other person, ever. Her
only friend is quickly discarded (from the plot as well), her mother
is really not a likeable being in any way, her father is really not
much more than a lunatic. But the fact there is no relationship with
her older sister either is once again extremely jarring and
unrealistic. If there was something that tore them apart after early
childhood (they seem cheerful in the car ride in the last chapter),
it has to be shown. Akiko (or Shokou? - the fanlation wasn't
consistent on that) has been heavily traumatized and there is not a
single instance of her sister comforting or hugging her (again,
compare with Narutaro. In some respects, Shiina is very similar to
Takako). If Takako was really THAT unable to relate to any other
person, it would be called out by other characters in the story. The
same really can be said about Shokou too, there is never any attempt
on her side to BE comforted. The mother is a drunk and the father a
crazy man, so there IS only each other's sister to hold on to. And
this story isn't intended as some shonen thingy where realistic
emotions don't play a part. Showing emotional impacts on the
characters again and again, and on the other hand having things don't
add up left and right is simply unforgivable. To sum things up, the
couple out of nowhere shitting out of a baby in the last chapter is
always something really insulting, but in this case it contradicts
the story so much it's beyond atrocious.
The
drawing style is solid and detailed. Takako's room is deliberately
decorated in a childish way. I found the mutant-like faces of some
rowdies and cult people hilarious. Sometimes I couldn't tell the sex
of a character (Takako's friend) or characters apart, and there is
some inconsistency with e.g. Takako's height (she looks like she's
maybe 10 in some shots) and the way Shokou's face looks. Never mind
the chapter title drawings, they are just stupid fanservice, cause if
they were meant to symbolize that the 2 girls were stripped bare
psychologically, that sure didn't happen.
The
father's pathetic death in the end is also lessening the manga. If
anything, he should spit in their faces from converting him from a
successful businessman (flashback) to a lunatic and sick moron in the
timespan of a single year. Having a dysfunctional family like that
literally robbed him of his life. (Maybe killing Takako and then
committing suicide WOULD have been the right choice on his part...)
Arigatou my ass, and that's really the perfect summary of this manga.
Summary:
Even if the abovementioned flaws and idiocies wouldn't occur, the
manga's spectrum would really have had to be broadened a lot more to
create a top tier work. There's no sense of wonder here like in
Narutaro, which, despite its piling up flaws and plotholes, is a
magical work akin to experiencing a dream; the psychological
exploration of the characters, while clearly attempted, was just not
developed enough.
On the plus side, this manga was very daring and explicit with its sexual stuff (probably the part that was intended to draw people into reading this), but even that was pretty much dropped in the second half.
On the plus side, this manga was very daring and explicit with its sexual stuff (probably the part that was intended to draw people into reading this), but even that was pretty much dropped in the second half.
Not
recommendable.
My blog!
Hey, I'm Thomas from Austria and this is my blog. Took me years (literally) to finally get going with this, but now I'm ready. My blog will feature anime/manga & tv/movie reviews, showing off my various collections and random other stuff, complementing my youtube channel which I'll start putting content on too in the near future. (soon for real?)
By the way, this blog is about how I see the world, so I certainly can't claim to be unbiased against my certain pet peeves and also about things I advocate.
SPOILERS all reviews/rants/everything else naturally contain SPOILERS
Also, all copyright is retained by the orginal owners, any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, my online personality LMTR14 does not necessarily legally resemble my own opinions as a natural person and all the other good stuff that keeps my head over water when things get controversial. ^^
This blog runs under the non-profit principle, so if you want your image properly credited or removed, just contact me and I'll do it right away.
Yep.
LMTR14
PS: I explicitely disavow all posts I have made on Youtube under the name LMTR14. Youtube always only has been for venting anger and swearing at people for liking different things ;-)
It's certainly not a place for reasonable discussion, so many of my posts there were never meant to be taken seriously. For all intents and purposes, I stand only behind the facts and opinions expressed on this blog with my name.
By the way, this blog is about how I see the world, so I certainly can't claim to be unbiased against my certain pet peeves and also about things I advocate.
SPOILERS all reviews/rants/everything else naturally contain SPOILERS
Also, all copyright is retained by the orginal owners, any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, my online personality LMTR14 does not necessarily legally resemble my own opinions as a natural person and all the other good stuff that keeps my head over water when things get controversial. ^^
This blog runs under the non-profit principle, so if you want your image properly credited or removed, just contact me and I'll do it right away.
Yep.
LMTR14
PS: I explicitely disavow all posts I have made on Youtube under the name LMTR14. Youtube always only has been for venting anger and swearing at people for liking different things ;-)
It's certainly not a place for reasonable discussion, so many of my posts there were never meant to be taken seriously. For all intents and purposes, I stand only behind the facts and opinions expressed on this blog with my name.
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